These are some of the very worst people in Arizona:
Kari Lake: Still rakin’ in the dough on the Losers’ Circuit, Lake is technically an Arizonan, but she now mostly belongs to the vast sea of angry old white people who are willing to show up at a gatherin’ or a meetin’ to hear a regurgitation of the lies that she spewed, the ones that allowed a very mediocre Katie Hobbs to become governor of the Grand Canyon State.
Lake ran one of the worst campaigns in Arizona history; she made Terry Goddard look dynamic. All she had to do was go on TV and say, “I’m a Republican; that means I’m not a Democrat” and she would have won by 5 percentage points. Instead, she went full-frontal, conspiracy clown, election-denier Trumpist and Arizona’s independents went “Yeah…no!”
Of course, after she took that ass-whuppin’, she tried to graft Trump’s election lies onto her own failed campaign, but that also went nowhere. She got laughed out of court by Republican judges and you’d figure that by now, six months on, she would have faded into Loser History. It got so bad that the state Supreme Court fined Lake’s lawyers for lying in court.
But she’s back with a new threat. She has said that if she doesn’t get installed as governor (she’s not saying by whom since it’s an absolute impossibility), she’s going to run for senator in 2024.
So, she’s running for the senate. You’ve been warned.
Jayden de Laura: After I (and hundreds of thousands of other Arizona Wildcat fans) have been forced to wander in the desert for what seems like 40 years, waiting for a winning football team, we were all set to go all-in on the 2023 Cats.
And then we learn that UA quarterback Jayden de Laura committed sexual assault when he was in high school and basically got away with it. He and a teammate committed sexual assault on a 17-year-old girl, but because they were all under 18 at the time, the case went to juvenile court. He eventually had to write a letter of apology! Talk about judicial overkill.
This isn’t boys will be boys or he said/she said. This is a heinous crime to which he admitted, one that could have put him in prison for decades if he had done it just a few months later.
You suck, dude. I hope backup quarterback Noah Fifita gets a chance to play and leads Arizona to a bowl game.
Kyrsten Sinema: I mean, she’s Kyrsten Sinema…Party of One.
Wendy Rogers: Where to begin? She’s such an angry racist white person that when she ran for office the first five times, she couldn’t even persuade the other angry white people to vote for her. The only reason that she won on the sixth try is that she got a guy on the committee that was drawing the legislative districts after the last census to pull a fast one and stretch the boundary to include a mobile home in Flagstaff that Rogers claims to occupy…sometimes.
Rogers and her husband almost certainly live in either Tempe or Chandler, but she wouldn’t have received 20% of the vote if she had run in either one of those two districts. So she pretends to be from the redneck part of Flagstaff so she can preach nativism and antisemitism in the state legislature.
I should say that if the people of that part of Flagstaff and the surrounding boonies want to vote stupid, different strokes. The thing is that it’s illegal for Rogers (or anybody else) to do that. The Arizona Constitution requires legislators to live in the district which they represent.
A really funny (but not really) side note is that Rogers billed the state for nearly $20,000 for travel and subsistence expenses. She got the large amount because she used her Flagstaff address; people who reside in the Valley get a much lower amount.
That means one of two things. Either she’s scamming the state for money (which is a crime) or, to keep up appearances and to keep from getting busted for the fake-address scheme, she’s making regular trips to Flagstaff, leaving her comfy Valley homes behind to go camp out in a trailer. I don’t know which one I want more to be true.
Of course, the Legislature itself should be looking into this. Unfortunately, the jerkweed whose responsibility it to police that is…
Warren Peterson: The senate president, when asked if one of his members was breaking the law, responded with, “If you have three homes, you get to decide which one is a residence,”
I mentioned this list to a friend, and she asked why the morning right-wing radio talker wasn’t on the list. I figure his life is hard enough. One of the big things we learned from all the leaked emails and texts during Fox’s Dominion debacle is that even the people at the very top of that dung heap don’t believe that the 2020 presidential election was stolen.
He knows that Trump didn’t win. He knows that Blake Masters and Kari Lake didn’t win. He just has to say that stuff to feed the sheep and keep his job. Imagine having to do a Father Coughlin imitation for a living.
