Police Dispatch

What are those crazy criminals up to this week?

Police Dispatch

Nude, Unglued, and Not a Prude / She Finally Heard the Light

Police Dispatch

A junkie nabbed driving while high didn’t let his extreme impairment stop him from pretending he wasn’t—resulting in a long night for the cop who caught him, according to a University of Arizona Police Department report.

Police Dispatch

A homophobic drifter-type using University of Arizona facilities was kicked off campus after drifting way too far in a random interaction with a stranger, according to a UA Police Department report.

Police Dispatch

A popular TV crime show may or may not have contributed to the corruption of a minor college student clearly drinking way more than she could handle (despite her confident claims otherwise), according to a University of Arizona Police Department report.

Police Dispatch

A vegan collegiate believed his peers were subjecting him to secret psychological torture for eschewing animal products in his diet, according to a University of Arizona Police Department report.

Police Dispatch

A University of Arizona student who caused an overdose scare apparently had the time of his life while emergency responders checked to make sure he wasn’t dying but was just (very) stoned, according to a UA Police Department report.

Police Dispatch

A woman allegedly grabbing coffee for cops made a huge scene at a Starbucks before sunrise, insisting it hadn’t opened exactly on time at 5:30 a.m., a Pima County Sheriff’s Department report stated.

Police Dispatch

A man was caught with drug paraphernalia after locking himself in a convenience-store bathroom and “growling,” a Pima County Sheriff’s Department report said.

Police Dispatch

A drunk man yelling at a tree disturbed a northside couple getting ready for bed late one night, a Pima County Sheriff’s Department report stated.

Police Dispatch

A volatile University of Arizona student used an offensive rap composition as a coping mechanism to deal with being dumped by his “girlfriend” of two weeks, though he seemed eager to show he cared more about a T-shirt than the breakup, according to a UA Police Department report.

Police Dispatch

Two people were caught in the middle of a blow job late one night in the University of Arizona’s Main Library, according to a UA Police Department report.

Police Dispatch

Someone tagged a work site in the heart of the University of Arizona’s lauded upcoming “Student Success District” with depiction of a giant pink penis, said a UA Police Department report.

Police Dispatch

A super-high woman was caught behind the wheel after a late-night Dairy Queen run, according to a Marana Police Department report.

Police Dispatch

A young man was so aggressively intoxicated he started not only fighting people but also “charging” and attacking running cars, according to a Marana Police Department report.

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