Although it seems like a lifetime ago, we’re not that far removed from the Tea Party uprising in America. In 2010, a small, but significant, portion of the American populace — boiling mad that a Black man was president and that they were being taxed (simultaneously) by local, state and federal governments — rose up in anger. There was talk of insurrection, of secession, of everybody holding their breath at the same time until something changed.
In retrospect, the Tea Party people seem almost quaint when compared with today’s MAGA mobsters. While they were wrong about a lot of stuff, at least they had a few actual grievances and were willing to go about most things in a democratic (small “d”) manner. They managed to flip the House of Representatives before finally running out of steam.
Today’s cultists, on the other hand, have no real agenda. There’s just general hatred. The average MAGA person just wants to shove his nose so far up Donald Trump’s butt in hopes that the panorama of pallid whiteness that he sees is akin to the flash of bright light described by people who have had near-death experiences.
For them (and everybody else), here’s a little American quiz. It comes a week late, but I was knocked into a coma by the Supreme Court’s dumbass immunity ruling. Enjoy.
1. Nice and simple: How many amendments are there to the U.S. Constitution?
2. The penultimate amendment gave 18-year-olds the right to vote. What does the final amendment do?
3. Which state became a state first, North Dakota or South Dakota?
4. True or false: John Tyler, who was president in 1841 (not 1941), has a grandson who is still alive.
5. Name all of the states that became states in the 20th century.
6. Many people know that the Declaration of Independence was not signed on July 4. On what date was it signed?
7. Put these groups in chronological order of when they received the right to vote: women, Native Americans, white men, Black men.
8. Where is the only place south of the equator where the residents are American citizens?
9. True or false: In terms of the popular vote, Donald Trump has never won an election.
Answers
1. There are 27 amendments. I once asked this question of several people at a Tea Party rally. One man swore that there were 55. An older woman said that there were 12 (which would mean that Black people were still slaves).
2. This is bizarre. Originally passed by Congress in 1789, it wasn’t ratified by the necessary three-fourths of the states at the time and faded into history. In 1982, a University of Texas student wrote a paper that claimed that it could still be ratified. The idea took off and, in 1992, it was ratified, more than 202 years after it was originally passed.
The amendment basically says that Congress cannot give itself a raise. But, back when it was passed, each two-year Congress consisted almost entirely of new people who hadn’t served before. Nowadays, people make a lifelong career of being in Congress, so the 27th Amendment is rather silly.
3. If you said you don’t know, that’s the right answer. No one knows. Both states were admitted to the Union on Nov. 2, 1889. But President Benjamin Harrison didn’t want one state to lord it over the other, so he had Secretary of State James Blaine shuffle the two papers and cover them so no one knows which one Harrison signed.
Arizona is the 48th state. If you look up North Dakota, it should correctly say 39th or 40th, but some will say 39th because of the alphabetical order of the states.
4. This is true. It’s my absolute favorite fact. But the grandson, who lives in Virginia, is 95, so it won’t be able to be my absolute favorite fact for a whole lot longer.
Can you imagine being alive in 2024 and being able to say that your grandfather was born in the 1700s?
5. New Mexico, Arizona, Alaska, Hawai’i…and Oklahoma. Most people don’t know that about Oklahoma. It was supposed to be forever Indian Territory after all the tribes got dumped in there in the late 1800s. (Famed Apache leader Geronimo is buried in Oklahoma.)
But then they discovered oil and the white people said, “We’ll tear up that treaty!”
Oklahoma became a state in 1907.
6. A committee of the Continental Congress took up the issue of independence from Great Britain on July 1. Its chairman was Benjamin Harrison V, who would have a son (William Henry) and a great-grandson (also named Benjamin) become president.
The committee voted for independence the next day. (John Adams sent a letter to his wife stating that July 2 would someday become a great national holiday.) The wording of the Declaration (including the unfortunate phrase “merciless Indian savages”) was OK’d on July 4, but it wasn’t signed until Aug. 2.
7. White men (basically forever), Black men (technically 1870), women (1920), Native Americans (in Arizona, 1948!). Yes, three years after the Navajo Code Talkers helped America win World War II, they were finally given the right to vote.
8. American Samoa
9. That’s true. Hillary Clinton beat him by 3 million votes and Joe Biden beat him by more than 7 million votes. He won’t win this year, either.
