Best Original Script (Panhandler Division)
STAFF PICK: Sick and tired of handing out quarters all day? Hey, it's cheaper than a 35-cent paper, and the panhandlers are occasionally politer than the newsies. But a truly original request, albeit somewhat unsettling, was aired recently in front of a respected place of business (which shall remain nameless, because we don't want to start a trend). "Psssst!" whispered this dusty looking chap of indeterminate age, "do you know any subliminal messages that will make women want me?" To which we had no good reply. Play her a Led Zeppelin album backwards, perhaps?
