James’ Dirty, No-Fun, Occasionally Nonsensical Lists

Best:

  1. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
  2. I Heart Huckabees, The Life Aquatic With Steve Zissou, Kinsey
  3. Dogville, The Assassination of Richard Nixon
  4. P.S., Sideways (also the most overrated film of the year!)
  5. The Brown Bunny (great film ruined by terrible ending)
  6. The Day After Tomorrow (only for the artistry of the effects)
  7. Baadasssss!

Funniest:

  1. Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle
  2. Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
  3. Team America: World Police

Most unfairly maligned (though still not great):

  1. King Arthur
  2. Troy
  3. The Butterfly Effect
  4. The Village

Films that sucked so hard they increased the curvature of space-time:

  1. Against the Ropes
  2. Exorcist: The Beginning
  3. Ladder 49
  4. Alexander
  5. The Chronicles of Riddick
  6. Kill Bill: Vol. 2
  7. What the Bleep Do We Know!?

Bob’s Good, Clean, Fun Lists

Best:

  1. The Aviator
  2. The Life Aquatic With Steve Zissou
  3. The Incredibles
  4. Shaun of the Dead
  5. The Passion of the Christ
  6. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
  7. Million Dollar Baby
  8. Team America: World Police
  9. The Sea Inside
  10. Finding Neverland

Worst:

  1. She Hate Me
  2. The Terminal
  3. The Village
  4. The Polar Express
  5. Catwoman
  6. Alexander
  7. Saw
  8. The Chronicles of Riddick
  9. Meet the Fockers
  10. Envy

This article appears in Jan 20-26, 2005.