Police Dispatch

SECOND BLOW TO HIS MANHOOD

WEST CURTIS ROAD

OCT. 26, 12:38 A.M.

A female aggressor was arrested after assaulting her husband below
the belt, a Pima County Sheriff’s Department report stated.

The man’s wife, who had reported that her husband had assaulted her,
said they had gotten into a fight because her husband had just lost his
job at BRAKEmax. She said she had asked him what he wanted to be for
Halloween, and then, as a mean-spirited joke, she told him, “You should
be employed.” He tackled her at that point, she claimed.

During an interview with a deputy, the husband admitted that he and
his wife had been in a quarrel. After about 30 minutes of a verbal
argument, he said, she simply reached out and “grabbed his balls.” This
caused him to fall over, bringing her to the ground with him.

The wife admitted to grabbing him by the “balls,” and said she
probably should not have called law enforcement, since her husband had
not really attacked her.

The wife was arrested for domestic violence and disorderly conduct.
Her husband said he “did not need any medical attention after being
grabbed in his crotch area.”

MAZED AND CONFUSED

WEST AJO WAY

OCT. 31, 12:06 A.M.

A young man at a Halloween attraction reported a scary encounter in
a corn maze, according to a PCSD report.

On patrol near the Buckelew Farm Pumpkin Patch, a deputy responded
to a report of an assault at that location and met with the alleged
victim, a young man whose clothes were covered in dust. The reportee
stated he had been walking through a corn maze at the farm’s Halloween
event and got lost. He may have gone off the maze’s beaten path, he
said. All of a sudden, he said, a creepy, extremely tall man in
dark-colored clothing tackled him, causing him to fall.

The reporting deputy located the alleged attacker—who turned
out to be one of the farm’s security guards—and saw that he was
indeed tall: about 6-foot-5 to 6-foot-7. The man wore a dark jacket;
however, under the jacket, he wore a bright-orange T-shirt. The man
stated that the reportee had been cutting through the corn maze, and
the farm had a “zero-tolerance policy” for such behavior. The security
guard alleged that the reportee had reeked of alcohol.

No charges were pressed against the security guard.

This article appears in Nov 26 – Dec 2, 2009.