Police Dispatch

UNPROVOKED MOONING

WEST SCHAFER DRIVE

OCT. 4, 4:10 P.M.

A mentally handicapped man revealed his most intimate areas to
strangers after getting angry for an unknown reason, according to a
Pima County Sheriff’s Department report.

The reportee told deputies that he had been in his neighborhood with
his son and his son’s friends when a ruckus occurred at the adult
mental-care facility across the street. A resident of the facility was
allegedly becoming belligerent, biting and spitting on staff members
who were trying to get him into the building.

Then, the reportee said, the subject walked into the street toward
his son, pulled his own pants down and “showed his butt.” The reportee
said he had seen “everything in front” (apparently referring to the
subject’s genitalia).

The boys reported that the subject had yelled the Spanish word for
“nasty” at them before pulling down his pants. Asked if they had seen
only his “butt cheeks” or if they’d seen his anus as well, the boys
said they had definitely seen the anus.

When the deputy attempted to interview the subject, he started
yelling, “Fuck you, bitch!” and spit at the wall.

The subject was not arrested due to mental illness.

WISHFUL THINKING

NORTH STONY KNOLL LANE, GREEN VALLEY

OCT. 2, 10:40 A.M.

A man being arrested shared a convoluted conspiracy theory involving
the arrest of all Pima County sheriff’s deputies, a PCSD report
stated.

PCSD got a call from Green Valley reporting that a man who had been
screaming at his mother had just left her residence in a blue
sedan.

The reporting deputy found the sedan and got behind it, at which
point the sedan pulled over, and a 40-something man exited and rushed
the deputy. He reportedly began yelling that another deputy was trying
to harass him, continuing on to say that the Sheriff’s Department was
trying to frame him due to the fact that the CIA and military
intelligence had arrested Sheriff Clarence Dupnik, and the sheriff was
going to serve 30 years. The man then began to rant about “stolen
secrets,” mind control, and “stomach irritation rays.”

Asked what had been going on at his mother’s house, the subject
admitted he had been “pissed off” at her and had broken a desk.
According to the mother, he was going to mail some letters for her and
had become enraged that she did not fold them according to his desires.
After breaking the desk, he went to the post office with her mail.

En route to jail, he continued to yell about Sheriff Dupnik and said
that all of the sheriff’s deputies would be arrested following a
military-intelligence investigation.

This article appears in Oct 29 – Nov 4, 2009.