Police Dispatch

ORANGE JUMPSUIT AWAITS

EAST YVON DRIVE

AUG. 13, 11:56 P.M.

A man decided to run naked through the streets, according to a Pima
County Sheriff’s Department report.

The reporting deputy arrived in the subject’s neighborhood to find
him entirely naked—”not wearing shoes or anything”—and
cupping his genitalia in his hands as he stood in front of a female
homeowner’s living-room windows. When asked to approach the deputy’s
car, the subject stood immobile and stated he was naked. The deputy
said he knew he was naked, and the subject eventually approached the
vehicle.

The subject said he didn’t know what had gotten into him—he
just “got in the mood and felt like streaking.” It was all so natural,
he said, even though he had never done it before.

After being put in the patrol vehicle, the subject went off on a
tangent, saying the deputy “was not on the same level as him” and was
“arrogant to the reasons he would be doing this.” He said he was
running around naked “for love and for freedom.”

He then explained that he felt free at the start of his nude
journey, but he soon began to feel frightened. He became convinced he
was going to get raped, so he ran to the nearest house and asked the
resident to call 911.

The subject insisted he was in his right mind. He did appear to be
completely sober.

He was arrested for indecent exposure.

OLD BUT BOLD

WEST ORANGE GROVE ROAD

AUG. 14, 3:39 P.M.

A senior citizen assaulted a younger man for insulting his age, a
PCSD report said.

Deputies dispatched to an apartment-complex parking lot met with a
young man in a Superman T-shirt, a young woman in a PetSmart uniform
and an older man dressed in black.

The young man said he’d parked his motorcycle in the space beside
his girlfriend’s car while he was trying to fix the car. A vehicle
later revved its engine near him—the driver apparently wanted the
space where the motorcycle was—so he moved his motorcycle and
continued to work on the car. After the older man parked, the younger
man said he called the couple “pieces of shit” and said they had no
respect for elders. The younger man retorted by calling him an “old
man.”

Later, the young man said, the older man approached him, said,
“Who’s an old man now?” and punched him in the face.

The older man admitted he punched the younger man, saying he’d never
liked the couple, because they lived above him and had a loud dog. He
said that when he was called an old man, he “wanted to show the young
boy what an old man was all about.”

The man was cited for assault.

This article appears in Sep 10-16, 2009.