WIFE’S NIGHT OFF

WEST VALENCIA ROAD

AUG. 2, 6:39 P.M.

A man was arrested after allegedly stealing from a convenience store
and harassing customers with some bad dancing, according to a Pima
County Sheriff’s Department report.

The clerk at a southwest-side Circle K stated that a 280-pound
Hispanic male wearing only one shoe entered the store and began
frolicking around and bothering the customers. He was apparently doing
some sort of “belly dance,” repeatedly lifting his shirt to expose his
expansive torso. At one point, he tried to buy a Snickers bar with a
collection of bubble-gum wrappers he had in his pocket. The next time
he entered the store, he walked out with a 32-ounce soda without paying
for it. When all was said and done, he had been asked to leave the
premises four times; he had also apparently been drinking heavily.

Deputies found the man passed out near a trashcan, still with the
one shoe on. A search came up negative for the stolen soda; however, a
suspiciously fresh-looking 32-ounce cup was found in the nearby
trashcan. The man was arrested.

En route to jail, the subject insisted he had only stolen 4 ounces
of Powerade for his son. Soon after, he said he had only taken 4 ounces
of water for his daughter. He was reportedly upset that he had to go to
jail, because “it ruined his plans for later that night.”

Just after deputies left the Circle K with the subject, his wife
arrived on the scene and asked if he was going to jail. Told he was,
she said cryptically, “That’s good. He’s probably better off there
tonight.”

NATURIST IN NATURE

NORTH SABINO CANYON PARKWAY

JULY 29, 9:42 A.M.

A woman seeking quiet recreation in Sabino Canyon was forced to
watch a nude man jogging, a PCSD report stated.

The reportee said she was driving through the Sabino Canyon
Recreation Area on a dirt road when she saw a male clad in only jogging
shorts taking a run just off the road. When she got closer, she saw him
stop and sit down on a large rock, and then stare at her as he
proceeded to remove his shorts. She said he appeared to have been
waiting for her to approach before taking his shorts off.

After he was nude, he continued his run down the road.

The woman said she did not feel threatened, but had been told by
park officials to make a report with the Sheriff’s Department.

This article appears in Aug 27 – Sep 2, 2009.