FORGOT TO STEAL THE TOOTHPASTE

SOUTH CARDINAL AVENUE

JUNE 27, 7:49 P.M.

Three inebriated individuals were caught in an elaborate scheme to
shoplift personal-hygiene items, according to a Pima County Sheriff’s
Department report.

Employees at a Tucson Walgreens reported that a 5-foot-3-inch man
had repeatedly entered the store, stolen items such as shampoo, and
left—only to return in a different T-shirt to steal more
items.

After exiting the store, the male had reportedly been going to a bus
stop and giving the stolen goods to a female, who provided him with a
different T-shirt. Another female accomplice, panhandling outside the
Walgreens, was apparently the lookout.

When apprehended, the male admitted he stole four shampoo bottles.
Although witnesses reported that the bus-stop female possessed many
stolen items, the only thing deputies found on her was a brand-new
toothbrush.

All three subjects showed signs of intoxication, including breath
reeking of alcohol.

The male and the panhandling female were arrested; the other female
was released, since all the stolen items had disappeared.

One witness said the shampoo had been sold to someone nearby for
$10.

HEY, KILL YOUR OWN TV

SOUTH CAMINO DE LA TIERRA

JUNE 26, 1:14 P.M.

A man was driven to move out of his apartment by his neighbor’s
scary use of a gun, a PCSD report stated.

The apartment complex’s manager contacted law enforcement after
learning that a man renting a ground-floor unit was moving out, because
his upstairs neighbor had shot a bullet through the ceiling and into
his television.

The reporting deputy found a hole in the first-floor dweller’s
ceiling and in the top of his television. No bullet was found.

The victim said he had not reported the incident, because his
upstairs neighbor knew where he lived.

REAR-END COLLISION

NORTH TANURI DRIVE

JUNE 23, 1:42 P.M.

A man’s girlfriend was apparently so angry at him that she used her
backside to dent his car, a PCSD report stated.

The reportee said his girlfriend had come to his residence to get
some belongings, and started “ranting and raving” and demanding that he
return a ring she had given him. He said he asked her to leave.
Watching her through the window, he saw her smash a door of his
Hyundai.

The reporting deputy observed a large dent in the car’s door. When
he asked the victim what his girlfriend had smashed the car with, he
said, “Her ass.”

Deputies could not locate the girlfriend.

This article appears in Jul 23-29, 2009.