WISHFUL DRINKING?
EAST SUNRISE DRIVE
JUNE 3, 4:28 A.M.
A drunk man broke into the nicer apartment of a neighbor when he
allegedly mistook the residence for his own, according to a Pima County
Sheriff’s Department report.
The victim said he woke up to find a stranger standing in his
apartment. The stranger was standing in the doorway, screaming, after
apparently breaking through the lock on the victim’s bedroom door.
Questioned by sheriff’s deputies, the subject said he had been
drinking and must have passed out. When he awoke on the reportee’s
porch, he thought the apartment was his own and that he had been locked
out by his roommates; he assumed they were also drunk. He entered the
apartment by removing the screen over the apartment’s sliding-glass
window, and then broke the lock on the reportee’s bedroom door by using
part of an ink pen. He seemingly thought it was his own bedroom, though
his own apartment was a significant distance away. The subject, still
visibly intoxicated, was crying and very apologetic.
The subject’s apartment was indeed similar to the victim’s and in
the same complex. However, the subject’s porch was littered with
bottles and ashtrays, and his apartment was dirty and badly furnished,
while the victim’s apartment was well-kept and full of nice
furnishings, including a large entertainment center. The subject
insisted he hadn’t noticed, because he was so drunk.
A WHORIBLE SPELLER
WEST CALLE RANUNCULO
JUNE 7, 12:17 P.M.
A woman freshly out of a messy divorce found alleged proof that her
ex-husband is both mean and a lousy speller, a PCSD report stated.
The victim said that about two weeks before, her ex-husband had
retrieved some things he owned from a shed on her mother’s property.
When her mother was out of town, the woman had gone to the property to
check on the house and noticed that someone had removed the screws from
the shed’s door handle and lock—meaning anybody could get inside
and steal her things stored there.
When she went inside the shed, she said, she found graffiti on the
walls made with a marker. She said her angry ex-husband had apparently
been trying to write “fucking whore,” which she said he used to call
her all the time—but he must have been unsure of his spelling:
Someone had written “fuckin hor,” and then added, “or whore.”
The victim was upset, she said, mainly because her children
sometimes went in the shed, and she did not want them to see bad
language. Besides, graffiti like that might negatively affect
children’s spelling abilities.
Deputies were unable to ascertain whether the woman’s ex had indeed
written “fuckin hor or whore” in the shed.
This article appears in Jul 2-8, 2009.