Police Dispatch

WANDERLOST

EAST SPEEDWAY BOULEVARD

MARCH 25, 12:22 P.M.

An out-of-town woman engaged in hotel-hopping without possessions or
money, according to a Pima County Sheriff’s Department report.

The front-desk manager at the Tanque Verde Guest Ranch, 14301 E.
Speedway Blvd., told deputies a woman staying there was wandering
around barefoot in emotional distress, wearing only a T-shirt and
flannel lounge pants. Staff had returned her to her room four times,
but she continued to emerge. She had been wandering around since at
least 5:30 a.m.

The manager reported that the subject said the airlines had lost her
luggage, and the check she had written for her room did not clear. The
manager also found out that the subject had spent one night at the
Embassy Suites and then had moved on to the Windmill Inn before
arriving at the guest ranch. Her total debt was $517.54.

When confronted, the subject said all she wanted was to “spend some
time alone.” She could not articulate a reason for her state or for
wandering into areas where other guests were staying. Instead, she
described events from weeks, months and even years earlier involving
her bipolar sister in New Jersey and her sister’s boyfriend, a chef who
“worked odd hours.”

She admitted she had taken a few pills because she had not slept for
six days. In her room, deputies found a half-gone bottle of Oxycontin
and two empty wine bottles.

The subject was transported to the Southern Arizona Mental Health
Center.

AT LEAST HIS STORY WAS LAME

NORTH CAMINO DEL SAUCE

MARCH 26, 4:06 P.M.

A young man angry at his friend allegedly used a crutch in an
attempted beating after an interesting text-message exchange, a PSCD
report said.

A deputy met with the reportee, who said he had gone to the house of
his “now ex-friend” after receiving a text message that the friend was
going to run him over with his car. When he arrived, he found the
subject wildly wielding a crutch, which he used to hit the reportee in
the back.

The accused crutch-wielder, however, denied swinging the crutch,
insisting that he was “just shit-talking” and had simply been holding
the crutch at his side. Maybe it hit the reportee during the ensuing
scuffle, he said.

Apparently, the subject had text-messaged the reportee with gruesome
messages such as, “I can hear your bones cracking under my car right
now”—to which the reportee had replied, “Cool,” before going to
the subject’s house.

When deputies spoke with the young men’s respective parents, they
simply said their sons were stupid and would handle punishment.

This article appears in Apr 23-29, 2009.