I was watching The View on Monday, like I always do, and Barbara Walters started telling the girls about her conversation with Paris Hilton. Paris has become much more spiritual and no longer thinks her dumb girl routine is “cute.” Also, she’s reading that pernicious bit of brain vomit, The Secret—you know, the one that says if victims of genocide and cancer and other bad fortune would just look on the bright side of life, they’d be soooo much better off.

No good can come of this.

This article appears in Jun 7-13, 2007.

Getting hassled by The Man Mild-mannered reporter

9 replies on “Paris Finds God, Discovers “The Secret””

  1. The fact that our senior writer spends his days watching The View also falls under the category of “no good can come of this.”

  2. Forget that, what’s up with this news the Sidewinders might head to Reno after ’08 (AZ Star)? Is it hype or just plain blasphemy? I guess all will be told at the 11 a.m. press conference.

    No good can come of this either.

  4. Paris is probably listening to the book-on-CD version.

    With any luck, Paris will join Scientology and end up crusading against psychiatry and getting cross with Matt Lauer for being “glib.”

  5. I was hoping that with Rosie’s departure, I’d have a shot at joining the cast of “The View,” but the producers haven’t called since I sent my audition tape.

  7. Best Paris Hilton quote ever: “In the future, I plan on taking more of an active role in the decisions I make.”

  8. Cut Paris a break. She’s just real people like you and me. Just how long would you last in jail Saxon Burns or Jim Nintzel? What do you think would happen to you in the big city if you were popped for violating probation? Your lawyer would have you out by the end of the day? Joe Arpaio loves that one.

    Free Paris! From the press that is.

  9. and parisH was “violating (ooo, aaah) probation” because – ?? she was rushing to the hospital in labor?

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