The first few months living in Marana’s Sunflower Retirement Community, the surroundings felt comfortable to long-time partners James Brooks and Robert Campbell. Still, the gay couple was cautious.
They didn’t go to many potlucks or gatherings at the community center. The uncertainty of what other people’s reactions would be to their relationship loomed. After all, the experiences with many of their family members hadn’t been the best—lots of siblings cut ties and there were many, many parental disappointments.
For the last 12 years, they’re just happy they have each other.
Sadly, Campbell had a stroke in March. Brooks has been his caregiver, and is invested in getting Campbell back to where he was. He’s at every physical therapy session at the Southern Arizona Veterans Affairs clinic (Campbell is a Vietnam vet), and has researched what type of activities Campbell can do from home to improve his health.
The idea of doing aquatic physical therapy in the retirement community’s pool came up. Brooks thought is was a perfect way to help with Campbell’s recovery.
On the afternoon of May 24, the couple walked to the pool area. At the time, Campbell still wore a leg brace and relied on his walker.
The air was hostile.
A woman bumped into Campbell when he made his way to one of the pool’s lap lanes. He didn’t think much of it, he says. Then a man from across the pool started yelling at them, screaming Brooks and Campbell weren’t allowed to be in the swim lanes. The couple was told to leave.
Brooks says he tried explaining Campbell was a stroke patient and that they were trying to do his physical therapy. In no time, Brooks was out of the pool and surrounded by people screaming in his face, he says. Campbell was frightened. He pulled himself out of the pool and dragged himself on the pavement to be near Brooks.
“We started to realize that there is something wrong here, there is something going on,” Brooks says.
Just a few days earlier they had talked about what a great place they had chosen to move to from Florida.
“I told the (front) desk attendant what had happened … and she refused to help me. She gave me a pen and paper and said, ‘If you want to file a complaint, you gave to get the names yourself,'” Brooks remembers. “I went back out there and tried to do that. It blew up. People started threatening me. One man threatened that he would throw me out if I didn’t leave. (Another) man said his name was Barack Obama.”
Cases like Brooks and Campbell’s are common, according to the organization Services and Advocacy for GLBT (gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender) Elders, or SAGE.
SAGE recently collaborated with the LGBT civil rights group Equal Rights Center in a survey where 200 heterosexual and homosexual individuals in 10 states called various retirement communities with resident 50 years and older. The center found that, when it came to LGBT people, 48 percent of the time there was “some kind of differential treatment, fewer housing options, higher fees or rents, or possibly more extensive application requirements than the heterosexual counterparts,” according to Serena Worthington, director of National Field Initiatives at SAGE. Worthington has been in constant communication with Brooks and Campbell.
The “problem” with Brooks and Campbell’s situation is that no homophobic slurs were used. So, their discrimination based on sexual orientation claims are harder to prove.
Arizona doesn’t have a law prohibiting housing discrimination based on sexual orientation or gender identity. But this, “Does not in any way mean that it is permissible to discriminate against same-sex couples in Arizona,” says Karen Loewy, senior attorney at Lambda Legal, a national LGBT legal organization. Loewy has also been in touch with the couple.
“Courts and human rights agencies across the country have increasingly recognized that discrimination against LGBT people, and specifically against same-sex couples, is a form of sex discrimination. Both the Arizona Fair Housing Act and the Federal Fair Housing Act prohibit sex discrimination, so a housing provider—whether a landlord, realtor, homeowners association, property manager, or municipality—that denies or resists providing fully equal housing rights to LGBT people risks liability under these provisions,” she says in an email.
Brooks and Campbell filed a complaint the day after the pool altercation. A hearing with the Sunflower Board of Directors on the complaint happened in June. There, Brooks was told he would not be informed of the committee’s recommendations, or what actions the board would take, if any, in response to the complaint, according to documents obtained by the Tucson Weekly.
Two statements emerged alleging Brooks and Campbell were the ones out of line. One from a man who said if he had still been a law enforcement officer, he would have arrested Brooks for disorderly conduct. Another from a woman accusing Campbell of being a part of the mess, when at the time “Bob was still unable to bathe himself.”
In July, the couple received a letter from the board saying that, during an executive meeting, the board had found (they) were the ones in violation of the code of conduct, and that if there were any other similar events, the couple would face consequences. “(There was) no reference at all that (the board) did an investigation into our complaint,” Campbell says.
Even though they pay for the amenities that come from living at Sunflower, the couple doesn’t use them, because they fear for their safety. They say it’s sad. They’ve made great friend there, but a small group of residents have tainted their experience, they say.
The governing board president and Sunflower’s management did not respond to an interview request from the Tucson Weekly.
Recently Brooks and Campbell decided to put their house up for sale. But when they realized they probably wouldn’t be able to afford a nice home in a safe area in Tucson, they decided to stay at Sunflower. They plan to continue making noise with the board until a fair hearing for their complaint takes place.
Lately, the couple rarely leaves their home, unless it’s to drive to the VA for Campbell’s appointments.
“The thing that hurts me the most is, I have always been, wherever I have lived, the kind of neighbor who helps the older lady across the street. My name (here) has been destroyed. My character has been assassinated here and I don’t have any control over that other than to tell the truth and get the word out,” Brooks says. “This is more important than ever because we are going to stay here.”
This article appears in Oct 22-28, 2015.
So sad to read this and unfortunately not entirely surprised. Small minded people seem to be everywhere and seem to think they are in charge and their opinions are the only ones that matter. I can only hope that things will improve in time. Best wishes on continued recovery and have a great day to both of you!
Maybe they should move back to Florida?
Sounds like a really one-side story with little to no investigation.
I look forward to the follow up story with lots of interviews and research on the matter. Go ahead, I won’t hold my breath.
This is an outrage! The small minded people of Marana’s Sunflower Retirement Community should be ashamed of themselves. The world is changing and they don’t like it, so are just going to take out their prejudices on this elderly couple who can’t really defend themselves! I look forward to the day when we can all just be who we are, and not have to apologize. Thank you to the Tucson Weekly for having the courage to write and publish this article!
Wow people!! They came to the center looking for trouble. Fearing from a bunch of 79 & 89 year olds? THEY cut off someone in the swim lanes and when someone shouted to move out of the way (as a Safty Issue) one of them responded with “F You” no one even knew their orientation, they are making it an issue, and there were children there hearing the swearing. BTW – children are also told to not walk across swim lanes when they are already occupied!! It’s called swim etiquette!
This is why the couple was sanctioned, the cursing. Shame on you writing this w/o getting whole story!
I find it funny that the Weekly stated they asked for interviews from both the leader of the HOA and the management but got no response. That is in fact a response. Now they are hitting the comment section to squeal and cry they were never interviewed. I think it time we bring a sensitivity training to the Sunflower community. I know people who will lead it fairly and openly. So this is your chance Sunflower? Will you agree to sensitivity training so that the whole community can see the sincerity of your comments.
As always, there are two sides to every story. The board probably chose not to comment because it’s a lose-lose situation for them. However, as a Sunflower resident who was there that day, the story being told is grossly inaccurate.
To begin with, no one that I’m aware of had any idea of the sexual orientation of these two gentlemen. We happen to have a number of couples in Sunflower of the same sex, some for reasons of relationship, some for reasons of companionship and some for financial reasons. Frankly, at our ages, we really don’t care who lives with who and why. It’s a very open, accepting and warm community.
The gentlemen in question were asked to leave the lap lanes for safety reasons – they are lap lanes for a reason and cutting directly across them is akin to running a red light at an intersection. They weren’t shouted at or verbally abused but their retort was laced with the most offensive of profanities. They immediately turned aggressive and abusive and fortunately chose to leave the pool and file whatever grievances they felt appropriate. Those results are kept private by our board to protect everybody involved and that’s as it should be.
Given the number of times these gentlemen have moved out of “hostile” communities, perhaps it’s time for them to question their motives and attitudes instead of those of the community. And, for what it’s worth, Sunflower hasn’t sold a home since 2001 when Del Webb finished out the development. Since then, all sales have been private sales through real estate agents – the HOA has never handled, approved, reviewed or in any way had any say (other than meeting the age requirement) in who bought what. If a particular real estate agent steered gay couples away from Sunflower, shame on them. But don’t try and place blame on an HOA that has nothing to do with real estate sales.
My last piece of advice to these two gentlemen is to perhaps give some thought to starting a LGBT group at Sunflower. There just might be more gays here then they realize; they just happen to live their lives and not worry about what others might or might not think and so don’t waste their time screaming to the world “hey, I’m gay, treat me better”.
“The air was hostile” ?? REALLY???? Seems like the writer has taken a fiction writing course. Have you seen this retirement pool with old folks just splashing around?? Point out a couple is gay and most will respond of course we are all happy!
Previous post about no one knew or cared about orientation is very true. Seems the LGBT organization wants to make an issue where none existed other then rudeness or them not knowing pool etiquette.
Seems Sunflower residents are now all up in arms. If you are as you say you, agree to sensitivity training and we can get on with our lives. I know how old people get together and bully and Sunflower is no exception but some diversity training will help their attitudes. Funny they would not speak to the Tucson Weekly but now when they can’t not be refuted make comments.
These responses by Sunflower and a few residents seem to be more proof of the negative attacks made against this couple. It’s easy to try to smear people when you can’t defend yourself, which is exactly what they did at the pool that day. Also the premise that him using a lane of the pool being a danger, well the term lane in itself identifies it as a zone which can be used by an individual in whatever manner they see fit. Trying to dictate the purpose is idiocy. Another interesting aspect they choose not to address is the fact that when the couple tried to issue a complaint and asked for assistance by the staff they were directed to figure out who yelled at them is another example of rude and negligent treatment. All residents concerns should be met with respect and consideration, that is part of what you should expect for the HOA fees paid. The lack of respect and cordiality given to them is a serious problem with this neighborhood. I do believe having a diversity and respect training would be a great idea, the problem is that more than likely the people that really need the training are also the people that would never attend. The time for ignorance and prejudice is past, what should be focused upon is creating and participating in a community that celebrates the age it’s residents have achieved and finding creative ways to enjoy life. All life is valuable and deserves to be celebrated!!!
Maybe we could get the government to mandate training that everybody must complete. To be fair that training would have to include training to accept people that have decided that they don’t want to accept change. Just because some people want to doesn’t mean all have to.
And we would have to do it with donations by supporting citizens, as it wouldn’t be fair to make all neighborhoods pay for it So if you want change pay up…. But somebody above pointed out that it is ” The lack of respect and cordiality given to them is a serious problem with this neighborhood. “
So for this neighborhood…the whole neighborhood… no soup for you! Take the government training and try to become somebody else so you can make these people feel loved.
Even if they are putzing around in the swimming lane.
Sorry to bring it up again, but it sounds like fiddling while Rome is burning….
Some people seem to revel in being “something” rather than someone. These gentlemen have, unfortunately, decided to define themselves as gay rather than friends, family, teammates, neighbors, caregivers and responsible members of the community.
Sunflower elects some new board members every year – I’ve not seen either of these gentlemen submit their names for consideration. Stop whining about a perceived slight and participate in the governance of the community to give voice to LGBT issues that may exist here. Or maybe it’s just easier to move onto the next community where you can once again find fault and perceived discrimination. Personally, I’d rather they stay here, give a voice to the LGBT community and stop being so defensive about something that almost no one here cares about.
At the pool today the article came up. Most were surprised because they knew there was an incident of yelling in May but NO ONE there knew they were gay until today!
They are trying to make it the issue when no one cares. Most people here are busy with their own lives.
***The “problem” with Brooks and Campbell’s situation is that no homophobic slurs were used. So, their discrimination based on sexual orientation claims are harder to prove***.
Is it possible it’s hard to prove and that no slurs were used because their orientation is not what caused the problem? They walked across a lane where someone was swimming, caused him to be startled (one assumes a clear lane when swimming) and responded with profanity when asked to move. It was about 2 rude, inconsiderate men……not 2 gay guys!! The same response would have happened to any individuals who did not wait until it was clear to cross the swim lanes.
Feel free to defend 2 guys without manners; it’s insulting to think they deserve a pass because they now announce they are gay.
This community discriminated against my children and their dad, several years ago. Even though his dues were paid to use the amenities, he was told they could not use the pool. Their reason was because he was leasing in Sun Flower and not buying. I think it is because he is Hispanic, because he and our children used the pool for one season and all the sudden they were told they could no longer use the pool. He lived in Sun Flower for three years and the last two years they were not allowed to use the pool. Our children were very disappointed and when they asked me why they couldn’t go swimming, I really didn’t know what to tell them. What a sad state America is in when young kids who all need to know how to swim, are told this is a privilege they are not entitled to because of the color if their skin.
I was not there. I did not witness what happened. But I can speak to the character of Jimmy Brooks, who has been vilified in these comments. I have known Jimmy since grade school. We lost touch for several years but reconnected a few years ago, and especially most recently when his partner, Bob, and my husband had major strokes around the same time. Jimmy’s character is, at its very core, loving and caring! He is NOTHING like the evil person being portrayed by some of the residents of Sunflower who are commenting here. You do not even know him. He was trying to help Bob recover from his terrible stroke, and instead of finding understanding and even the tiniest bit of empathy, he and Bob were yelled at and made to feel outcast. I have NO DOUBT that they were treated in this way because of their relationship, NOT because of their “infraction” in the swimming pool. There is no other explanation for your outlandish behavior. Apparently bigotry and hatred are alive and well at Sunflower! You should be ashamed.
I have no doubt Jimmy is not “evil” The writers of their defense continue to ignore that no one knew they were gay! It is unfortunate they decided to write this 5 months after a 10 minute horrible misunderstanding and taint the community reputation; especially since they’ve decided to stay after they planned to move again when this first happened.. He assumed that is why he was told to move since they are used to living in “hostile” communities by their own admission and keep moving. There were children in the pool when his first spoken response was “FUCK YOU” when asked to move out of the way of the swimmer already using the lane. No one mentions the angry grandmother who had her day at the pool ruined and immediately left with her grandchildren!
Jimmy interpreted “move out of the way” (lane already in use) to “you are gay so leave” It is a shame being gay is his focus and assumes all communication to him is because of that!! They were not wearing signs saying “I am gay”, so quit touting bigotry where none existed. Lots of men and women come to the pool together, not just heterosexual couples – mind you no one questions the relationships when they show up, it’s no one’s business and NO ONE CARES!
Perhaps the negative writers should question why in 15 years no negative publicity has ever been mentioned given this is not the first openly gay couple to live here. I’m not sure why they want to live in the past when being gay had a negative stigma. They have never even attended a board meeting (read the minutes) and would frankly appear foolish to the other gay couples here who do not define themselves by their private behavior.
Since they have decided to stay, I hope there is a way to move beyond this and not be miserable for their own sakes. They might be surprised if they took a walk at how many people just wave and say hello. No one is thinking “hmmmm – I wonder if they’re gay” hope it’s not too late by them stirring the pot with this slanted article!
Having read all the comments by both the Sunflower residents, and the others who chose to write, I am reminded that that there are always more sides to a story than two. The 1950 movie “Rashomon” is famous, per Wikipedia, for the following quotes, “The film is known for a plot device that involves various characters providing alternative, self-serving and contradictory versions of the same incident.”
“The term Rashomon effect refers to real-world situations in which multiple eye-witness testimonies of an event contain conflicting information.” The movie was given an honorary Academy Award in 1952 and is considered one of the all time great films. It is well worth viewing and discussing.
Perhaps all parties overreacted but, as a Gay married man, in a 27 year relationship with his partner/ husband, I am aware of misunderstandings that have nothing to do with sexual preferences. We both have children, grandchildren and many straight friends. Usually situational misunderstandings are just that…misunderstandings. I suggest that the Gay couple try to attend HOA Board meetings, participate in community social events, get to know a few more homeowners and then determine if they are being singled out as “different”. My husband and I have three small homes in which we live: Tubac, Tucson and Chicago. We do not feel discriminated against in any of our communities or HOA. Patience and knowledge might help all involved to resolve this sad event.
Once again I’ve gone through each response from a proud (too funny) Sunflower resident. I notice the common theme we did not know he was gay. That wasn’t the point it was that you all mistreated a man after he had suffered a terrible stroke. I know old people after being a caregiver for many years. As people age, they get more intolerant it seems of not getting there own ways. I’ve seen it too many times to count.
I also notice the person that reports on their racism also which again is too often found in this advanced age group. I’ve begged them to respond to my request that they all attend diversity and sensitivity training but instead they keep saying the same almost exact sentences but written by different Sunflower residents. Sounds like a senior cabal out to make it their way or the highway.
I look forward to a specific request and there answer to training. I would think if they are all as open as they claim to be, this request will be accepted.
Dear RKD….did you know the man Jimmy shouted profanities at is in his 80s and had open heart surgery?? Most of us have at least one replaced part, must be a minimum of 55.most are bolder then this gentlemen at 80 plus..and All have health issues!
The article was written to imply they were targeted for being gay, it is a joke to now try to say it is about a stroke victim. Lots of widows here, I don’t think we need sensitivity training on treating recovering patients!
Furthermore, they went to EVERY media outlet local and national about this story: none of the legitimate paid sources would cover it which is why it’s only in this local free liberal flyer full of pot ads.
First note Response to R hides behind a fake name while my real initials and community respect is well known. You can see by his comments about those that have need to use medical marijuana should also be put down and denigrated like these two men were mistreated by all the old folks. It would appear Response to R is like the Trump just hurling words hoping something will make an iota of sense. So Response to R I guess your so with it community doesn’t need tolerance and diversity training? What a joke and the constant same type comments from Sunflower residents shows they are in cahoots on this comment thread. Did anyone notice they never address that charge of racism and past resident brought up????
My friends live In Far Horizons in Tucson for years… Check it out!!!!
I live in Sunflower. I only use the clubhouse facilities if it isn’t busy. I avoid people if I go because I have had numerous problems there. It’s hostile. Regardless of the who and why of this story, it’s just an unfriendly place and I hate it. I would move if I could.
Finally some more brave SUNFLOWER residents are coming forward sharing their stories of the mean spirited people at the clubhouse. One resident even brought up that they moved since being brown was not welcome in this community. Sounds like a scene from “To Kill A Mockingbird.”
I made an offer for tolerance and diversity training and the fact that they have not accepted the offer shows how shallow many must be to refuse free training to be nicer people 🙂
The only one here that seems to need training is RKD since he insists on looking at gay couples as being “different” and thus must be the subject of diversity training. Although I’m straight, I’m quite sure that if I were homosexual, I’d be offended by his implication that I am somehow different and that people need training on how to live with me.
Once again I feel shame that anyone would treat anyone else in such a manner. I think it matters not about our religious beliefs,our education and our wealth if along the way we have set aside the ability to be loving compassionate people.
Looks like the people doing your bidding are not taking you serious.
http://www.breitbart.com/big-government/2015/10/28/harry-reid-refers-lgbt-lbj-letters/
Golden Rule: Threat others as you would wish to be treated. I believe they would want to be considerate (i.e. not cross a lane in front of another swimmer) if they were to follow this rule. I believe they would want to be truly nice friendly people (i.e. not screaming from the top of their lungs that they are being discriminated against) if they were to follow this rule. But it is not just about them, the Golden Rule applies to all of us. I try to live it. I don’t always succeed.
in regards to SunflowerResident, once again your homophobia is out for all to see as the article claimed originally. You should be the first to attend training in diversity and tolerance. By the way, I am gay and not at all offended by any of my posts as most GLBTQ people would not be either.
I see by the utter lack of people saying they want training that Sunflower must be indicted as the article stated and the arguments from residents taken with the knowledge that they are backwards.
Lastly out comes Jonathan K to spout nonsense like most the residents.
In response to SunFlowerResident, the comments you make are clear that you have no understanding of the GLBT issues. I am proud that someone would want to teach me tolerance and diversity but not the residents of SunFlower community. I will state they never attempted to contact me for training on their bias and to make it less of a bias.