Here are the sequels and high-concept pictures Hollywood should have produced this year:
·Monster’s Other Ball
·Lilo & the Angry Stitch
·Lara Croft and the Bottle of Lotion
·Teletubbies in IMAX
·Super Duper Pooper Troopers
·Secretary 2: Just Two Hours of Maggie
·Monsters, LLC
·Match Game P.M.: The Motion Picture
·Lord of the Rings 4: White Guys on a Really Long Hike
·Cathy Rigby Goes Down
·About Schmidt’s Breath
·Punch-Drunk Indifference
·Harry Potter and the Vibrating Broomstick
·Jake Busey and Hilary Swank’s Big-Teeth-O-Rama
·Gyllenhaal Getting Spanked
·Eat, Drink, Bert, Ernie
·Hercules 2: My Big Fat Greek Hercules
This article appears in May 22-28, 2003.