I recently came across a blog focusing on “the real truth about Arizona, its people, and its failing economy.” The blog is aptly named “Arizona Sucks” (arizona-sucks.com).
There are plenty of negative comments about living here. Topics include the economy, jobs, real estate, immigration, bad drivers, weather and so forth. The blog writer apparently lives in the Phoenix area and hates it. He/she predicts: “You will encounter a part of all that has gone wrong with humankind in every aspect of your life in Arizona.”
A post from March raises the query: “Is it really the same everywhere else?” The blogger emphatically says no.
“Anyone who really believes that the problems we are experiencing in Arizona are ‘the same as everywhere else’ either has never left the state of Arizona, has been stuck here so long that the heat has left them with no rational thought left, or is just ignorant to what is really going on around them.”
I started to wonder … do other people hate their states as much? After perusing a variety of websites, blogs and Facebook pages similar to Arizona Sucks, the answer is yes (although Montana appears to be an exception of sorts).
In alphabetical order, here’s a sampling:
Alaska (Facebook, “Dude, Alaska Sucks”): Here’s a blunt slogan: “WTF’s with Alaska? Give it back to Russia.” Unpopular politicians are listed, as is Sarah Palin: “Oh, I almost forgot about Sarah Palin, but I guess that’s OK, since history’s going to do just that: forget about her.”
Colorado (Facebook, “Colorado Sucks”): This page displays a cartoon character peeing on a photo of Colorado. Under the “about” heading, there’s a dismal assessment: “Colorado has ruined many lives.”
Indiana (Indianasucks.info): The creator of this site (Latrina) is giving back to the community: “This is a sight (sic) created as a public service to inform you of all the suckiness and moronitude that is Indiana.” I always wondered what a Hoosier was. Latrina attempts to answer: “Nobody knows, or if they do, don’t expect a straight answer. It could be an early form of ‘hoosier daddy?‘ Some scholars maintain it means in-breeder, others insist it means block headed. Don’t think that you will be the one person who answers this question.”
Iowa (Facebook, “Iowa Sucks”): There’s a play on the Vegas motto: “What happens in Iowa … sucks.” And if you were wondering what there is to do in Iowa, the top answer is to watch grass grow.
Maine (Facebook, “Why Maine Sucks”): This page includes a mocked-up highway sign: “Welcome to Maine—The way life should be (if you’re an inbred hick).” Apparently in Maine, you will be pulled over for looking young.
Minnesota (ihateminnesota.blogspot.com): There’s a bit of scientific thinking here: “Minnesota also has too many old people. Old people smell, therefore Minnesota smells … pure logic.” There’s also a list of tips on how to help Minnesota be a better state. One suggestion is “splitting the paychecks of all Minnesota weatherpersons with the rest of the residents. … Most of the people in this state could just as easily say, ‘It’s going to be cold for nine months.'”
Montana (Montana-sucks.com): Props to this site for its creativity: The whole site is designed to make tourists think that Montana sucks, so they don’t discover the state’s wonders. Smokey Bear—wearing a “sucks” hat and holding a shovel that reads “MT sucks”—points his finger and says, “Only You Can Prevent Tourist Tires.”
Pennsylvania (prisoners.com/pasucks.html): “It’s a blue-haired old-woman state devoid of help, compassion and tolerance.” Even the insects don’t like it there: “Pennsylvania is a decaying carcass from which even the maggots are fleeing.”
Rhode Island (Facebook, “I Hate Rhode Island: Rhode Island Sucks”): This could be on a tourism brochure: “Welcome to Rhode Island, where we worship mediocrity. Enjoy your stay, which won’t be long.”
Texas (txsucks.com): A play on the famous Texan motto: “Please mess with Texas!” There’s also a handy Top 10 list of “Things I won’t miss about Texas.” No. 1 is: “Texas bravado: As dumb as the state is big.”
I couldn’t help but laugh at what I found. While it’s sad that so many residents of their respective states are unhappy, it’s like they say … the grass is always greener.
Of course, here in the desert, that’s one motto we can’t use.
This article appears in Jun 30 – Jul 6, 2011.
I think what should be added here is that you suck too…
Maybe Texas doesn’t suck as much as some states. In Texas the Republicans have brought us to first in the nation in lack of health insurance. We are 49th in the nation in spending for public and higher education. Many students can’t speak English and can’t read or write in any language, nor can adults. And it is getting worse, rapidly!
I’d guess nearly half the people in Texas did not graduate from high school, so they can’t think straight and they believe every lie a politician tells them. They vote Republican perhaps because Republicans are for the rich and somehow ignorant people think that means the Republicans will make them rich too. See if that happens!
Texas politicians and police are corrupt. But isn’t that the American way?
And don’t forget BP poisoned our Gulf Coast for generations to come. And this week the entire state was declared s a disaster area because drought has killed our crops and livestock.
Despite this, Texas has the University of Texas and other state universities where decent education is available if you can get in.
The business climate is the best in the nation. Houston thrives. Austin has intelligent, progressive citizens. There is room to roam, great scenery, and friendly people, most of them. Houston has opera and symphony to rival New York City. The arts thrive here, as does individuality. If I have to live in USA, Texas is my choice.
If we could get rid of the Republicans and the corrupt police, Texas could be the least sucking state in the nation.
But after a couple of years of Obama and the Dems, I am not sure there is much hope, not for Texas and not for any state.
And now our governor, Ricky “Good Hair” Perry, is prancing around in his high heels wanting to run for president. Another Texas cheerleader wanting to be president. If you like Bush you will love Perry. Neither man is fit to be president. But would anyone fit to be president want the job of lying to us and letting the rich steal the country?
So all in all, I think we should just say every state sucks, some just suck more than others. All the websites mentioned are correct. I wonder how life is in Canada?
P.S. It is surprising how many people don’t know the motto mentioned in the article, “Don’t mess with Texas,” is a very effective anti-litter campaign slogan. It means don’t throw any mess on the ground. And we don’t! Texas is clean.
Because of the widespread misunderstanding in other states of our motto, some Texans have added to the slogan, “Don’t mess with Texas, but we reserve the right to mess with you.”
As for coming here and messin’ with us, if you don’t litter you can come on over and give a try at messing with us. We like a good time and love to be entertained. This may be the good-timing party state of the nation.
This “suckie” attitude says more about the mind”less” state of the author than it does about the states mentioned. Happiness is an inside job.
TXJesse already said it. We carry ourselves wherever we go.
If you hate AZ vote with your feet and leave……….just leave. It’s not hard and we can drop unemployment and government dole by having all the idiots run for greener grass. Ok so maybe it’s not hard to find greener grass mine is looking pretty dingy as I don’t water it enought 🙂