The Washington Times examines how Arizona Sen. Jon Kyl is the new go-to guy for immigration reform. As reporter puts Stephen Dinan puts it:
While the White House was working with Sen. John McCain, Arizona’s other senator, Jon Kyl, emerged this year as the most important player in the immigration debate, showing that even as the Congress has grown more liberal with Democrats in control, the immigration debate has shifted to the right.
It’s also a recognition that as Mr. Kyl goes, so go a number of Republicans.
“If it’s good enough for Kyl, it’s going to be good enough for a lot of conservatives,” said Rep. Jeff Flake, Arizona Republican and one of the top House lawmakers pressing for a bill this year.
Can Kyl bring along the crowd that wants all 12 million illegal immigrants kicked right out of the country? Hard-line groups such as Federation for American Immigration Reform are already using the A word:
But opponents of such a bill say Kyl is in a difficult position, given his own opposition to amnesty.
“Jon Kyl is being placed in an impossible position that can neither serve the nation’s interests, nor his own,” said Dan Stein, president of the Federation for American Immigration Reform (FAIR).
“When the president of the United States taps you on the shoulder and asks you to be his point man, it’s hard to refuse. But at the same time, Sen. Kyl’s record makes it very clear that he knows that no matter how you dress it up, any legislation that allows illegal aliens to remain in this country is an amnesty.”
This article appears in May 3-9, 2007.
Just out of curiosity, what do you think the best solution for the illegal-immigration problem is? Does the Tucson Weekly have an editorial position on this?
We do not have a position on the solution, because to me knowledge, nobody’s suggested anything that would SOLVE the problem. We have taken positions on specific parts of the issues, though. Our online archives are searchable back to 1995.
Jimmy is turning Irish! (“to me knowledge”)
I would like to see Tucson Weekly continue to cover the full spectrum of border issues. How about a cover story called “a guide to South Tucson” which is more like a city in Mexico than in the U.S?
How to solve the illegal immigration problem — by Beef Baloney:
Elect Ralph Nader president, then place protective air bags around the nation’s borders.
Put a layer of sticky stuff around the country (like they use in mousetraps), then Border Patrol can drive along the perimeter and find people who are stuck in place. There will probably be a lot of empty shoes stuck there too, which we will collect for real Americans to throw over telephone lines for fun.
Breed a genetic hybrid of super-intelligent guard tumbleweeds that will roll over anybody who tries to cross the border, much like the giant red ball that attacks Patrick McGoohan in “The Prisoner.”
Copy the European Union and create a North American Union that is one big country. We could also call it The United States of Mexicanadamerica! (I believe this is the current Neo-con plan, considering the low-security superhighway being built between Mexico and the U.S. Midwest.)
Mexicans tend to do jobs that require manual labor, and Indians tend to take outsourced jobs that require computer and speaking skills. Therefore, require that all future U.S. jobs consist solely of sitting quietly and motionless at a desk.
On a lark, actually enforce laws against employers that hire undocumented workers. Just for fun!
Make all citizens of the U.S. be encoded with a microchip that has all of their identity information. This would also involve a tattoo across each person’s forehead and a GPS device in their sphincters. In order to work and collect a paycheck, each person would have to be scanned, satellited, decoded and password-verified! Take THAT, microchip-deficient Mexicans!
Negotiate with China to let our two countries trade places. Then, when Mexico is sleeping, quietly switch everyting in the U.S. with everything in China. The next morning, when the Mexicans wake up, they’ll be sneaking into China where all the low-level factory type jobs are already being filled by billions of Chinese! Ha ha, Mexicans, you’re so PUNK’D!
Move the Old Tucson Studios a few miles south near the border. Then, when Mexicans sneak in, they’ll be seducted by the thrill-a-minute fun that Old Tucson offers all its patrons! They’ll have such a rollicking good time reliving the glorious days of ye old west, they’ll never venture any farther north.
Release the chupacabras!
Beef Baloney is on to something here. The “giant red ball,” nicknamed “Rover,” that habitually attacked Patrick McGoohan was actually, more often than not, a weather balloon. For years, ICE and its predecessor agencies have already been using weather balloons to hoist surveillance equipment aloft. (“Be seeing you!”) No doubt these balloons are undergoing conversion right now in a secret warehouse outside Douglas, staffed by midget butlers.
as an anthropologist once partly recommended, export all racists, especially the aging, retired ones to mexico.
let them get together with their european-descended mexican brethen who control the land and business and are in cahoots with big US business.
import all the young able bodied mexicans or whoever is willing to work hard into america.
let’s see what happens.