First off, I wasn’t aware that Kidz Bop was still actually a thing.

Secondly, while I’m not surprised that “Thrift Shop” is popular enough to include on here (along with Taylor Swift breakup song “I Knew You Were Trouble,” a few songs by the ever-so-child-friendly Pitbull, and Macklemore & Ryan Lewis’ “Can’t Hold Us”), it was pretty well neutered by the Kidz Bop “Kidz,” who don’t sound like children so much as they do pitch-shifted adults.

I mean, they can’t even say “I’m gonna pop some tags,” changing it to “rock some tags” — does “pop” have some sort of violent, drug-addled meaning here I’m unaware of? Ugh.

Anyway, as the adage goes, we often hurt the ones we love.

Let us love you.

According to Wikipedia, these songs are also butchered given the Kidz Bop treatment on the 24th volume of the series, in stores July 16:

1. “Thrift Shop” Macklemore & Ryan Lewis feat. Wanz
2. “I Knew You Were Trouble” Taylor Swift
3. “Suit & Tie” Justin Timberlake feat. Jay Z
4. “Beauty and a Beat” Justin Bieber feat. Nicki Minaj
5. “Ho Hey” The Lumineers
6. “Come & Get It” Selena Gomez
7. “Feel This Moment” Pitbull feat. Christina Aguilera
8. “Scream & Shout” Will.i.am feat. Britney Spears
9. “Girl on Fire” Alicia Keys
10. “I Love It” Icona Pop feat. Charli XCX
11. “Can’t Hold Us” Macklemore & Ryan Lewis feat. Ray Dalton
12. “Heart Attack” Demi Lovato
13. “Mirrors” Justin Timberlake
14. “22” Taylor Swift
15. “Just Give Me A Reason” Pink feat. Nate Ruess (fun.)
16. “Don’t Stop The Party” Pitbull feat. TJR

This article appears in Jun 13-19, 2013.

4 replies on “Kidz Bop Butchered Thrift Shop, Threatens to Butcher Your Ears As Well”

  1. Holy sweet mother of jesus… Why would anyone, including “kidz” want to listen to that mockery???

  2. There’s an old saying that goes “you can’t polish a turd” and the turds in this scenario would be these songs. Could this be the reason why the producers figure the only direction to go with these songs is to dumb them down even further? It’s amazing to me that anyone pays attention to any of this cookie cutter crap.

  4. Kev, it turns out that someone keeps vandalizing that Kidz Bop Wikipedia page — I thought I had pulled the correct version, but turns out it was an older one.

    The correct track listing is on the page now, while the link in your comment is part of a decently-thought-out prank.

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