So, on Tuesday, by a 9-1 vote, the Los Angeles City Council voted to make condom use mandatory in the porn industry. The rule would require the porn studios, largely located in the San Fernando Valley portion of the city, to pay a fee when requesting a permit to shoot that would fund surprise inspections. The porn studios, which have long opposed the measure, have threatened to leave the city in protest. Steven Hirsch, founder of the adult film company Vivid Entertainment Group, told the LA Times “The industry isn’t going anywhere in terms of shooting movies, but if we need to move out of the city or the state, those jobs will go along with it.”

If the porn industry needs to pull out of California, it’s time for those adult jobs to come to Arizona.

It’s not like we can pretend that pornography isn’t already being produced in our state, after all, the Girls Gone Wild franchise considers the Arizona State campus a giant casting call, so if erotic films are going to be produced (oh, and they will), why not bring Christy Canyon to the Grand Canyon State? We’ve been losing our most emotionally damaged young people with father issues to California for years, let’s reverse that trend and become a state with more Greyhound arrivals than departures. After all, Sen. Al Melvin says that our state is “open for business” and what’s more open than this? Make it happen, Arizona politicians, if not for the out-of-work key grips, or the owners of the Lisa Frank building who would have a tenant in minutes (porn stars like dolphins and unicorns, I’m pretty sure), but for the rising tide of economic benefits to the plastic surgeons, bikini manufacturers, and pizza delivery guys. Our state needs porn and soon.

This article appears in Jan 19-25, 2012.

The editor of the Tucson Weekly. I have no idea how I got here.

8 replies on “I Can Fix the Arizona Economy With Porn”

  3. Dan, in a previous article, you blasted people who responded to one of your poroly written pieces on Christianity for saying you weren’t very Christian. In your response, you claimed to be Christian. If that’s really true, then how do you justify this piece where you want to invite the porn industry to Arizona? Are you seeing your hypocrisy or do I need to get out the crayolas and construction paper and illustrate it for you?

  4. Better correct my typo before Dan thinks he has something on me. I meant poorly written, instead of poroly written…

  5. @The guy who likes to complain, but keeps coming back anyway for some reason: I don’t exactly know what’s so difficult to understand. I don’t personally participate in the porn industry, largely because of my religious beliefs, but I don’t really care if anyone else does. While I have my personal opinions about pornography, I don’t pretend that my wishing it to go away has any effect whatsoever, so why not at least reap the economic benefits of the industry for the state I live in. In 1999, porn was estimated to provide $5.175 billion to California’s economy [http://www.wired.com/politics/law/news/199…]. Arizona could certainly use that sort of extra cash, my son’s classroom could use a computer built in the last few years, and a lot of poor Arizonans could use healthcare, and all the while, I don’t have to see any of that industry’s product if I don’t want to. I may be a Christian, but I’m not stupid.

    However, if you want to take your “crayolas and construction paper” and draw me a picture, I’d certainly accept it with gratitude.

    By the way, did you see when I offered to let you contribute a guest post to The Range. Since you’re only sixteen, I’d need a permission slip from your guardian, but I’m sure we’d all benefit from your insight.

  6. Great idea!~ we have the right climate, we have people that need work, the State needs a flagship industry, the State needs an image reconstuction on the National playing field,
    tho my guess is the Adult Entertainment Industry is bluffing, the threat isnt real, they just want to voice their opposition.

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