Guest Commentary

I have always been fascinated by bumper stickers. They are sort of a
pre-electronic Twitter (which I also find fascinating). Bumper stickers
are more provocative, because you don’t choose to “follow” them: They
are in your face.

My wife often chides me when I squint through the windshield to read
a sticker, or pause in the parking lot of a restaurant to study one of
those cars with stickers plastered all over the back—a sort of
self-inflicted graffiti.

While I am fascinated by them, bumper stickers offend my sense of
propriety. My parents believed it undignified to “advertise” stuff with
your car or clothing. My grandfather on my mother’s side would chisel
off the nameplates of appliances he bought. “It’s not Frigidaire’s
refrigerator; I paid for it, and I’m not going to advertise for them!”
he would say. My parents never had a bumper sticker on a car, nor did
they own any garments with more than a discreet logo. This aversion was
passed on to me.

It was in the 1990s when I first put a bumper sticker on my old
Honda sedan. I forget what the sticker said, but the capital “C” in
“Clinton” was a hammer and sickle. I continue to go back and forth,
putting them on and then taking them off. Right now, I am
sticker-free—mostly because I don’t want my late-model vehicle to
get vandalized.

In the early days, bumper stickers were used to advertise businesses
from the low end of the tourism industry. Older residents will recall
the green-on-yellow, “The THING? Mystery of the Desert” sticker that
seemed to be everywhere in Southern Arizona. Decades ago, when the city
of Tucson wanted to straighten River Road and make it an east-west
highway, nearby residents campaigned against the plan and sported
bumper stickers that said, “Keep It Kinky.” This was the local
bellwether of the bumper-sticker shift from business to politics.

Politics now seem to dominate bumper-sticker messages. Stands on
every imaginable issue, from abortion to medicine to taxes, are thrust
upon the unsuspecting driver. There is always an uptick in an election
year, but the last cycle blossomed with a plethora of Barack Obama
promotional images and slogans—including the “O” logo, which was
the best, most adaptable logo since the Sumerians started poking clay
with sticks.

There are far more Democrats than Republicans in Pima County, so
Obama stickers were everywhere. After the election, the stickers
remained and even seemed to grow in number—or maybe I just found
them more irritating.

I have a friend who came to town for the Gem and Mineral Show last
February and was shocked to see Obama bumper stickers on Arizona cars.
He, being from New Jersey, assumed all of Arizona was John McCain
country. I explained that Pima County was “Commie Central” in Arizona,
and was actually carried by Obama.

And now, here it is, the dead of summer, and the virulent plague of
“O” stickers persists. I even saw a new mutation: “Yes We Did!”

Speaking of McCain, he was Howard Dean’s choice for the Republicans.
According to Fox News, the head of the Democratic National Committee
said he “feared” facing Romney in the general election, and thought
McCain was a “weak candidate.” Certainly, lawyer/law professor Obama
could not hold a candle to businessman, governor and Salt Lake Olympic
savior Romney regarding business and the economy. This explains why
McCain, held in generally low esteem by the Republican base, won the
nomination: He was selected by Democrats and “independents.” That’s why
some states have “open primaries.” Open primaries allow, in this case,
Democrats to affect the outcome of Republican primaries.

I should probably save this for the next Get Out of Town! issue, but
I am really tired of Obama bumper stickers being worn like some kind of
badge. It has always been considered poor taste for the winner to strut
around, rubbing everyone’s nose in his victory. Most parents teach
their children this at an early age. My parents were no different.
Remember, “Pride goeth before a fall.”

On second thought, keep it up. The way things are going, those
stickers may become a source of embarrassment. In fact, the Republicans
may recycle the theme of an old ’70s Democrat sticker: “Don’t Blame Me;
I Voted for McCain.”

This article appears in Jul 30 – Aug 5, 2009.