I think about how lucky I am to have such a unique 15-year-old who brings me joy—everyday. But like many parents, I always wonder how I’m doing in the world of parenting. Right now, however, I’ve been thinking more about creating community for my son.

The norm in my son’s family tends to be things like going to the Women’s March last weekend in Tucson. He was with his father that day and they attended together. What was great was unlike some people I know, my son didn’t need an explanation as to why he and his family would attend the march or why women were marching in Washington, D.C., across the country and overseas. He recognizes that a misogynist and racist was elected into office.

In that sea of marchers, he was one of 15,000 people. He was part of a greater community that exists in our Moldy Pueblo. I’m grateful it was there and that it exists, but I still grapple with the work of creating community for my son.

The evening of the march was the first night of a new tradition we are starting with the idea of creating community. We decided to invite more people to our dinner table in our tiny kitchen. Luckily my table fits six people. Herreras family community recipe: a good home cooked meal, good conversation with our friends and a chance to invite new people we don’t see often enough. We discovered that the best part at the table is long after dessert trading new stories.

We are turning this into a monthly event, maybe we can do it more often in the spring and summer. I love sharing food with friends and family. I love taking the time in our busy schedules to actually talk to each other beyond social media. I want my son to actually know people in our community and know there are people in our little backyard here that we care about and there are lessons that come with that care.

I admit I haven’t always been good at showing friends the importance they have in our lives, so this is a chance to reteach ourselves and teach my son how to cultivate that. How to cultivate community—over plates of food, elbows touching, in my tiny kitchen.

— Mari Herreras, mherreras@tucsonweekly.com

This article appears in Jan 26 – Feb 1, 2017.

26 replies on “Editor’s Note”

  2. Racist has become nothing but a fashion statement on ignorance. It is used to replace patriot by the very ignorant left. Nations have borders or they cease to exist. You don’t need to build a new community. Obama did not succeed in destroying the existing one.

  3. Tolerance and respecting others is Kryptonite to What, Again.

    Proving himself to be a fool with 5000 unaccounted for postings.

    A coward, yet, a really busy coward.

    Placing his unfulfilled life in all of his completely ignorant and nasty posts.

    Yet TW doesn’t bother to eliminate most of his vile commentary.

    I’m beginning to wonder…who’s to blame?

    Get it together TW. Anytime a post shows up with the name What, Again…it should be eliminated.

    Would the TW web master ignore comments posted by someone who used Hitler as their user name? There is no difference at this point. The hate, not to mention the TW rules, need regulation.

  4. Looks like you score big on the tolerance scale yourself. Why not try saying nothing? This is a forum of ideas that challenge most of us. Let’s open our minds a little.

  7. Would have been nice if the TW had bothered to announce the details of the march in the week preceding. Great reporting after the fact.

  10. Tolerance of hate is not a tolerance that should be acceptable to anyone. Tell me Mr. Hyde, why would you truly think that I should tolerate the vile and rule breaking commentary posted by What, Again?

    Somewhere along the way the rules changed because there was a time where the TW web master wouldn’t have hesitated to delete that comment. It’s rude, crude and it is demeaning to a group of people who have done nothing but express their anger and/or disappointment towards a president who based the lion’s share of his campaign on hate and vitriol.

    I guess, as you put it, I need to open my mind to a comment that demeans feminists, liberals and a 15-year-old who shouldn’t even be mentioned in such a context in this comment section. If I “learn” to tolerate all that nonsense, does that make me more tolerant in your obfuscated eyes?

    Mr. Hyde, you really need to work on channeling your Dr. Jekyll side. Your commentary isn’t much more useful than the commentary of What, Again.

  11. Can’t you see what you’re doing to yourself? Look at all the negative energy you are expending on somebody you can’t change. You have even expanded it to criticizing me, when all I am trying to do is help you.

    Channel that energy into something positive and help make our country better. I think you are better than this.

  12. Don’t dare say that when the author says her son’s norm is to attend a woman’s rally about the free killing of the unborn and free birth control (all paid for by someone else) and that our duly elected President is a racist and misogynist with no facts whatsoever to support is a leftist liberal raising her son according to the now accepted feminization of males.

    If you do you will be censored, your post deleted, because liberals must have their safe space, their own virtual reality.

    Just look at her handle “Aztlan”. This is not a person that is for America. She’s a fruitcake radical leftist.

  15. I’m detecting some anger in your comments that seems misplaced. Is there something else bothering you?

  17. Mari. Trump is a racist? And you base that on what? You’re not taking my advice. Trump’s the President. Get a deck of cards and deal with it.

  18. What happened to the guidelines and rules of etiquit in this paper? I don’t want my children to see it. This does not serve our community, as it seems to have been taken over by radicals.

  21. No anger here Mr. Hyde, nor do I want or feel the need to change anyone. I just wish that you useless and worthless trolls would go away. There’s all sorts of alternative facts news sites you could visit and you could waste your time trolling there.
    You serve no purpose with your comments on this site accept to be demeaning, call people childish names (snowflake, cupcake, etc…), rain on people’s parades when they are happy about something they read in the articles, twist a person’s words around when they challenge your ignorant spouting of nonsense and insult the writers. Can’t you see what your doing to yourself?
    If you think I’m expending negative energy, read the commentary from What, Again and then take a critical evaluation of yourself. Go and “help” somebody that doesn’t see right through your nonsense. Get a life, and please, for the sensible people who can sense your ignorance from miles away, get that life somewhere far away from here.

  22. As for you What, Again:

    Exit your safe space and do some investigating on some real news sites to learn about the very real misogyny exhibited by Trump.

    Also, to use your own words, quit being such a “snowflake” about having your rule breaking comment removed. In all reality, at least 90% of your commentary should be removed if the web master was practicing zero tolerance with the comments policy. Plus, you needlessly demeaned a 15-year-old in a creepy context with your asinine comment.

    Take your negativity to the alternative facts/fake news websites and leave the fruitcake radical leftists at TW alone.

  23. I think I figured out why Mari speaks so highly of Pulitzer Tommy Danehy. They have a lot in common. When someone questions something they said, they simply ignore it. I’m still waiting for her to explain her ” Trumps a racist” comment. So far nada. I guess she read it in the N.Y. Times. Or saw something about it on MSNBC.

  24. Pobrecita ac/dc. Do you feel better after your tempter tantrum? You deserve some extra marmalade on your toast today.

  25. “Pobrecita ac/dc…tempter tantrum?…marmalade on toast…”

    How does any of this cryptic writing apply to anything in this thread?

    I decided to read the article and the commentary twice, very thoroughly, and I still have no clue.

    One thing that I have figured out by doing this, is that What, Again is not a stable person.

    Another thing I’ve figured out is that What, Again is probably referring to his or her self when referencing the “tempter” tantrum. The comment posted on 1/27/2017 by What, Again is the only comment posted here where there appears to be a childish 3 year-old style meltdown occurring. I’ve always believed it’s similar to that old “If you can’t do the time, then don’t do the crime” cliche…meaning that “If you don’t follow the commentary rules, then don’t expect your post to remain in the thread”.

    I’ve read plenty of What, Again’s postings throughout the last year or so and this is a person who comes across as having a lot of misplaced anger and a lot of time to waste writing about it on their hands. Finding a hobby that doesn’t involve so much detestation would be a healthier opinion for the unstable persona of What, Again.

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