After two days of living off $4 a day I can tell you that it pretty much completely sucks. And not for just the reasons one would assume – less-than-full stomach, lack of choices, sense of impending doom – but for a whole grocery list of other reasons I’d never even thought of. (It felt so good to type “grocery list” just now. There is something very sad about that).
I’ve got plenty of food to make it through the week. There’s still around $17 worth of lentils and potatoes and bananas and instant pancake mix and I’ve gotten by with much less than that before. What’s really got me squirming, though, is what a flimsy excuse for a survivor I have become in the past several years. A spoiled little twit, really, and but a husk of the cheap-living man I used to be.
For one thing, somewhere along the way I became dependent on coffee, which is expensive and not in this week’s budget. So I walk around hating things I shouldn’t and wandering aimlessly when focus is sorely needed. I’ve also been pretty much an asshole most of the week, partially because the banana pancakes don’t stick to my ribs like I thought they would and partially because I simply can’t have what I want, when I want it, like a flimsy little twit. I don’t like this version of me, but it makes me realize how entitled I feel regarding little treats like coffee and snacks between meals.
It’s also got me thinking about some of the things people said when I first wrote about all this. One of the comments was from a guy who worked at a Circle K and watched people come in on the first of the month to buy a ton of junk food with food stamps. Well, guess what: After two days of nothing but brown rice, baked potatoes and instant pancakes, I feel like doing that. If I were forced to live on this same food budget for a few months I would certainly buy tons of sugary crap. I don’t even like sweets, but it just sounds good right now. Why is that?
The other thing is that I actually have a little bit of money, so if I started actually starving I could just ditch this whole thing and go to Los Betos. People on the brink of poverty don’t have that option, and it takes a ton of work and good fortune to work a life back up to the point of financial well being. It’s a strange scary feeling and I’m only feeling this in a tangential way for a limited amount of time. It makes me want to hug my parents for struggling their way out of poverty. It makes me want to give every single mom or dad a money order for $50,000 and a handwritten apology from Mitt Romney and anyone who supports him. I’m serious. Or hypoglycemic.
So, as you can tell, this little jaunt through living on SNAP benefits has already driven me crazy and bent my mind so terribly that I can’t stop writing run-on sentences about the most miniscule understanding of what it must be like to be living in poverty today. I thought I understood, but I didn’t.
Now, if anybody needs me, I’ll be having some more lentils and rice. If beer were in my budget right now, I would purchase as much of it as humanly possible. What have I become?
This article appears in Sep 20-26, 2012.
My FS benefits were cut from $17– a month to $0 after my SSDI was raised from $791 to $800+ this year, thank freakin dog for section 8 or things would be extremely grim here.
There are no words to tell someone who has never gone without what it is like to live hand to mouth. It is a living death… misery and hunger are your only feelings. But you gotta keep going, because just over the hill lies an opportunity to work your way out of it if you keep trying. If you don’t try, you will never know there is something you can do to improve your situation, regardless of your circumstances. For people who live below the poverty line there are many resources to get help with whatever you need if you just look for them. One Stop will help you find whatever you need to fill your lack. They have access and information to all the resources in Tucson. Don’t think for a minute you have no choices or opportunities….. but you do have to get up and go find them. They will not find you.
So far no food riots in contemporary USA, so maybe SNAP somehow keeps the lid on things…keeps the shipping and handling costs of corporate capitalism (Romney/Ryan–oh, has it really become *that* simple?) down to an acceptable level.
Adam – brave experiment. It would suck, especially if you didn’t have a choice and as you say even when you do it is awful.
As I can tell you, you learn management skills very fast when in the position of having to manage on $3-$4 a day. It can be done, though, but it’s going to sometimes be a very dull diet, though not as dull as you’ve gone, apparently. You learn store patterns, buy bulk in sales (10lbs of potatoes at Food City when they go on sale for $1.99), use other resources (Market On The Move, served best by teaming with a friend or two), learn to use coupons like you’re auditioning for that reality show. You learn to pounce on the deals *fast*. It can be done. It’ll take a little more of your life than you’ll like, but it can be done. The hellacious thing is trying to do this for a family of four, however, even with the benefits level scaled up to match; the workload scales up too.
I LOVE THIS! Thank you for participating in the SNAP Challenge with us. Your experience and ability to tell the story of hunger is amazing. Thank you.
We’ve got some great posts on our blog site from other SNAP Challenge participants, http://www.cfbsnapchallenge.org.
I’ll also add, it’s not too late to join us. Obviously, even two days of living on such a limited food budget can be powerful experience and/or reminder.
Try being a diabetic and living on SNAP. This limits your choices even more and healthy foods cost more. I’m trying to survive on the SNAP Challenge too, but will run out of food before the week ends. I too have other resources, but I feel guilty using them. What would I do if I was really poor or lost my job and didn’t have choices. Would I steal to feed my family?
Where’s your protein…all the carbs in your diet is unhealthy and not a balanced diet. By the way protien sticks to your ribs longer then carby pancakes, put peanut butter on those pancakes 🙂 If you were feeding kids, they need fruits and veggies to that diet…try that on $4.00 a day…no wonder we see obiesity in poor kids…it’s because the food that the parents can afford sometimes is not the healthiest.
I went down to 17$ a day with a child when I got Part time work. I had transitional housing to pay rent on. I do agree that you need to provide for yourself and your family. The benefits I am grateful for. Since gaining our own apartment we receive more but I have less financially with paying health insurance etc since working full time. If it was as simple as when I was a kid and you could find 10 for 1$ deals at the grocery store and Protein is very important. Maybe as a nation we all need to look at how much all Americans pay fo meats,fruits and fresh vegetables. If I was not in an apartment and could have a garden I would. Never mind owning a car with the gas prices the way they are. We get our walking exercise for sure. Hate having to explain the car issue to a 4 year old who already wants a car of her own. This nation needs to do more to better the price of food for all, not just because we get food stamps!!!! Leave coupons out of the equation too. The 99cent store can bee good but most of the portion sizes are smalleron the food items. Circle K is a rip off but all store pricing exspecially on Milk is totally wrong. Milk is a staple why is it almos 3$ in some stores. Unfortunately Circle K is convenient to many of us without vehicles. Not just the mear fact that you can spend 90$ of your stamps there without a blink of an eye.
The SNAP Challenge is a lot harder than I thought it was going to be. I miss the little things like coffee and dark chocolate but I think the biggest surprise so far is the amout of time I’ve spent. I knew it would take me longer than usual to prepare a well planned, low dollar shopping list. I knew it would take me longer at the store(s). I knew it would take me longer in the kitchen because I was doing more actual cooking that usual but I did not anticipate the amount of time I would spend thinking about food.
Salute to all those in this challenge, stay strong. I, however, refuse to partake, as I have been one of those in the position that I was taking the challenge unwillingly. Never again, god willing.
Thanks to all who are willing to walk in another persons shoes for the sake of understanding. Living under the poverty line IS hard. I am happy more people are starting to realize this. I did not participate in the SNAP challenge. I have lived it for longer then I care to admit. I hope this is a wake up call. I hope this shows that no one in their right mind would choose to live like this, that the concept of a “welfare queen” is so grossly inaccurate.
I,m with Burnie Mak on this. I remember my Mother counting nickels & dimes and question herself, how she would make it to the next payday with 4 kids in the early 50’s they didn’t have any relief programs like SNAP.
I think this is a great challenge, you people are brave in doing it.
I would recommend Grocery Outlet on Speedway between Craycroft and Wilmot. Their groceries are about 50 – 60% of other grocery stores. Check them out and you’ll like what you find.