Here are a few things you might have missed while trying frantically to keep your head above water during six years of an economy being kept down by Republican obstructionism. (It’s awful hard to get moving when one person is stepping on the gas and 300 or so are slamming on the brake for fear that the driver might make some headway. When the history of this period is written, it will show that Republicans in power put partisan politics ahead of the country to the detriment of all but a chosen few.)
Anyway, here we go:
• This may be the most disgusting thing I have ever read in my entire life. Last year, the four highest-paid hedge fund managers took in more money than the combined salaries of all 160,000 kindergarten teachers in the United States. Just let that stew for a moment. Four people took in (I refuse to use the word “earned” here) more money than 160,000 teachers, almost all of whom are college educated.
Keep in mind that hedge fund managers don’t do dick for the U.S. economy. They’re not among the fictional “job creators” that right-wing talking heads crow about. All they do is move around large piles of money, using special rules and exclusive protections to produce even larger piles of money.
If you didn’t think this could be any more reprehensible, remember that, thanks to bend-over buddies in Congress, hedge fund managers are taxed at a maximum rate of 15 percent, which is probably a lower rate than that paid by the average reader of this column. Think about that.
• Academy Award-winning actress Gwyneth Paltrow believes that the molecular structure of water can be damaged if it is exposed to negative emotions. She touts the work of controversial Japanese doctor Masaru Emoto, who believes that harsh words and/or loud, aggressive music can change the molecular structure of water and make it “behave” differently. Paltrow says she’s “fascinated by the growing science behind the energy of consciousness and its effect on matter.”
I don’t know what to say. It’s probably all those years of listening to Coldplay.
• FARC, which stands for (translated) the Revolutionary Armed Forces of Colombia, marks its 50th(!) year of existence in 2014. Right about the time that The Beatles were making their first appearance on the Ed Sullivan Show, a handful of Communist revolutionaries were taking to the jungle to attempt to overthrow a corrupt Latin American government (which is probably the ultimate redundancy). They’re still at it a half-century later and how much must that suck?
Over the decades, FARC has engaged in kidnappings, the planting of land mines, and they were also a major player in the multi-billion dollar illegal drug industry. Their numbers have dropped off dramatically in recent years after the death from a heart attack of leader Manuel “Sureshot” Velez. He was replaced by a guy who went by the name of Mono Jojoy, which doesn’t exactly inspire a rabid following.
For the past two years, FARC has been in peace negotiations (being held in Havana, Cuba) with the government. I think the reason that FARC has failed is that just saying the name out loud makes everybody giggle.
•Here’s a strange one. In 2013, for the first time in the history of the Billboard popular music charts, dating back to the 1950s, not one Number One song in the entire year was by a black artist. My first instinct is to blame Republicans, many of whom fear what that dreadful Negro rhythm might do to their children, but it’s probably nothing more than a really weird coincidence.
• Dick Cheney has done more to earn his name than any American since Bozo the Clown. A funny thing happened when he went on Fox News to try to pin the disaster that is Iraq on President Obama. (Nobody in his/her right mind watches Fox News, so I do it for you.)
Anyway, Megyn Kelly, who is but one of an army of blonde NewsBots that the network employs to say the same false stuff over and over again, actually stood up to Dick, saying something to the effect of “Hey, didn’t y’all start this mess by going in looking for weapons that didn’t exist?”
I think she still has her job, although she’ll probably have to undergo mandatory re-programming in the lab.
• More than three in four Americans (regardless of political party) support a hike in the minimum wage. Raising it to $10.10 an hour would remove 3.5 million people from the food stamp rolls and save the country $4.6 billion a year. This (gasp!), according to The Wall Street Journal.
• And finally, while I have followed a strict course of non-violence in my life, I strongly recommend that we drag ex-Goldman Sachs trader Deem Amin Salem into an open area and beat his ass. The 35-year-old Salem is suing the investment bank because it gave him a bonus of “only” $8.25 million after he had told his mother that the bonus would be more in the range of $13 million. I mean, how embarrassing is that?! His mom probably dogged him out something fierce after that.
As an aside, it reinforces the maxim that one should never say never…as in, I never thought I would take the side of Goldman Sachs on anything.
This article appears in Jul 17-23, 2014.
Only problem Tommis that the republicans didn’t have the house for the first two years of the Obama administration, the dems did. Didn’t matter, they are all bad in my book.
We get it, Tom, your first instinct is to blame republicans. One sign of civilized mortals is their ability to suppress their first instincts. You should try it. For the past 6 years, incidentally, ‘NO’ has for the first time been the only positive choice. ‘NO’ has at least postponed the collapse, if only a bit.
No, its Republicans.
Only someone who has been duped out of expecting services in return for taxes could be convinced otherwise. But once you’ve crossed that rubicon, all manner of foolish self delusion is possible.
The only thing missing from this column was an old school rim shot after every bullet. If you know anything about Columbia and it’s history of land grabs, you would not bat an eye at the 50th anniversary of FARC. It’s simply the same as it ever was (water flowing underground).
Tom is not better than Gwyneth, only different.
Billboard’s pop chart was relevant in the 20th century, but not in this century. Kinda like book reviews used to be relevant, when buying a book and reading it was the only way people experienced books.
Add the obligatory rim shot after every sentence.
Just when Tom has had a thoughtful entertaining series of articles I enjoyed, he comes through with his usual liberal dogmatic BS that reminds me what a Dumb$#% he actually is. OH, I stooped to name calling, well, I want to be just like Tom LOL
Tom,Tom,Tom. I’m actually embarrassed for you. Where were you when you were supposed to be in class during your High School days? Hanging out at Al’s with Richie and the Fonz?
Let’s start with your ” knowledge” of how Washington works. It’s a term called bulletproof. That’s when the same party in the White House also has a majority in the Senate and the House. Your president had that for 2 years and couldn’t do a thing. He got his stimulas package passed. The one with all the shovel ready jobs. The one that prompted Joe Biden to declare the Summer of recovery. The same Joe Biden who couldn’t get arrested if you gave him a brick and a police station window to throw it through. All your Pres. did was give alot of that money to his union pals so they could kick it back to him in campaign donations. So, tell us Tom. Tell us all these great economic plans the Grerat One had. This stooge never ran so much as a lemonade stand. Give him an ice water stand in Tucson in July and he’d be bankrupt by August.
As far as your moronic comment about Republicans being racists. Check your history. 3 years after the end of the Civil War the Senate debated the 14th Amendment which would grant blacks citizenship. 94 % of all Republicians voted yes. Not 1 Democrat did. In 1957 Republican Pres. Eisenhower sent the 87th Airborne to desegregate Little Rock, Ark. This despite the strong objections of Democrat Governer Faubus . In 1960 Ike signed the G.O.P.’s Civil Rights Act despite a 5 day filibuster by 18 Senate Dems. In 1964 Dem. President Johnson signed the second Civil Rights Act despite a 14 hour filibuster by Dem. Sen. and former Klansman Robert Byrd. It also survived an attempt by 22 Senate Dems including Al Gore Sr. to scuttle it.
Nice try, Tom.
CW13 Don’t confuse Tom with facts!! LOL He does not understand it.
Maybe the new owners of the Weekly will actually read these columns and put an end to our misery.
You got that right. Facts. Liberal Kryptonite. Actually, I enjoy Tom’s Pulitzer quality columns along with all the other liberal jibberish that appears in the Weekly. Kinda reassures me how right we on the right really are.
To the gutless wonder who hit dislike on my origional comment. What’s to dislike? The fact that I’m right? Show me where I’m wrong. The 14th Amendment? The Civil Right Act issue? Democrat Senator Robert Byrd being a Klan member? Maybe you can explain to us all of your president’s brillant economic plans. No, you just hit dislike and hide behind Mommy’s apron strings.
More leftwing bitches with cherry pits for balls.
Ah yes… nice to the cabal of unemployed and retired conservative dim bulbs who regularly comment on Tom’s columns are still going for the revisionist card… as if Lincoln and T.R. (heck even Ike) would be welcome in the modern GOTP. It’s a delicious irony that a party which came into being as a reaction to the navtism, fear and bigotry of the Whigs is itself descending into irrelevance because it has embraced what it once despised. Enjoy your RINO hunts ladies… it’s you who’ll be extinct.
Nice to *see*….
See what ? Never mind. Manuel, I guess your remarks are aimed at what I had to say. Let me start by correcting you. I’m getting pretty good at this around here. I am NOT a Republician. I’m a regestered Independent. I probably have more axes to grind with the G.O.P. than you do. As far as me being a conservative and retired, at least you got somethings right. If never having to work again at age 54 makes me a dimbulb, I wish I was a cronic dimbulb. That way I could have packed it in at age 50. You’re obviously upset with me for playing the revisionist card. whatever that is. Most of what you had to say is from things in the past. I notice you could not offer us one ecomonic plan that Obummer has had to offer. Well, at least you had the cajones to respond. Nice try Tom, nice try Manuel.
What kind of ignorance is on display with that opening? Just look at what the Republicans have accomplished in Texas. Without Obama. Why doesn’t HE copy THEM? Six years of stagnation and debt accumulation. Grow up!
Geez CW… you’re not too bright.. Thanks for proving the point of my original post.
I don’t give a fig that’s you’re an “Independent” with “axes to grind.” You’re still going to vote for Republicans. Every. Time. In fact, I hope you fully embrace the giant size tin-foil-hat-wearing brand of conservatism… it makes you irrelevant politically because you will always vote for the far right fringe and that will help the nut jobs you support win GOTP Primaries and make it far more likely Democrats get elected.
I’ll give you a little History lesson. The Republican Party (and the conservative movement) stopped being the party of Lincoln, T.R., Ike and even Barry Goldwater when they got in bed with Southern Evangelicals… look it up it’s called the “Southern Strategy.” Conservatives in the 21st Century are like the proverbial lobster in the pot… you’re all but cooked and don’t even know it yet.
Progressives are filleted on the grill right now. Six years of anti American free economy. Look at the mess they have created around the world by being wimps.
Not worthy of power. Tired of blame and excuses. Bring back America.
Manuel my Boy, you are so easy you’re almost free. I’ll be brief. For someone who got his panties in a wad over my playing the revisionist card, you sure do livein the past. Once again half of what you said was a so called history lesson. History. As in the past. I’m still waiting for you or one of your other left wing loser pals to answer my question. Tell me ONE ecominic policy that your beloved president has proposed. It’s close to a week now and all I get is dislikes ( which I love ) not one single answer. I could go on Manuel, ripping you to shreds but for several reasons I won’t. One, you’re starting to bore me. And two, I don’t want to keep you up late reading what I have to say. You need your beauty sleep and I want you to be at work on time tomorrow. After all, someone has to pay for my Pima County retirement check and my social security. Sleep tight, Manuel.
Don’t you stooges get it? Will you ever get it? I spell it out for you that I love dislikes and two more idiots do just that. I also want to thank all you Obummerites for explaining to us all his economic plans. Sad.
Wow, C-Dub….if only President Obama DID have a great economic plan; one that would provide you with a JOB that would keep you busy most days and off this site!! IF ONLY!!!
Sorry Saleslady, I paid my debt to society. 15 years working open steel 40 stories over the streets of Manhatten. Almost got killed so, I ended up here. I think it was destiny, just so I could annoy you. Another 20 years with the County and it was time to enjoy the fruits of my labors. Everyone needs a hobby. When it’s too hot to do much else I stay busy annoying liberals like you. IF ONLY. You know what they say about if. If my aunt had certian body parts, she’d be my uncle.
Don’t kid yourselves. Obamas economic plan is to destroy the country. What a miserable president he has been. Ask the Chicago blacks that still have no work. And he promised to save them.
Hey Chicago, “If you like your poverty, you can keep your poverty.” Obamacare. It’s the Affordable Poverty Act
He has lied to all of us.
I must say Rat T, I lie your style. At least a few of us see the true Obummer for what he is. A Socialist hump who would love nothing more than to reduce the U.S. to a third world country. Oh and thank you Saleslady. Nothing warms my soul like a liberal admiting that Obummer has no economic plan. There’s hope for you yet.
Wow. I didn’t know republicans even read this magazine. Same reason Danehy watches Fox News? I’m confused.
Yes you are. A word to the wise. Quit while you’re behind.
This isn’t a magazine is it? AOL links it to me under the heading “weekly garbage.”
Rat T: You’re still using AOL? Are you living in 1997?