Bring back Brian Miller!
All the former head of the Pima County Republican Party did was insult a lot of people in his own party (including his predecessors), and insinuate that certain law-enforcement personnel had participated in a murder. At least he didn’t try to raffle off a gun several months after a similar gun was used to shoot Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords in the head and kill six people.
Interim party chief Mike Shaw sent out a newsletter that read, “Help Pima GOP get out the vote and maybe help yourself to a new Glock.” The $10-per-ticket raffle is a fundraiser for the local Republican Party. In related news, the World’s Most Insensitive Clod award has been officially retired and will be bolted to Mike Shaw’s mantelpiece.
I’ll admit that I’ve never understood this gun thing. I used to be more outspoken on this issue, but over the years, I’ve adopted a philosophy of “live and let … them shoot at each other.” I realize that there are a lot of people out there who need to have a gun in order to feel all manly and stuff, but this move by the county Republicans clears the Green Monster of basic human decency and is still rising.
Somebody explain it to me, please. And don’t use the old, tired clichés about how “a gun is just a tool.” You’re a tool.
If somebody wants to kill somebody badly enough, they don’t need a gun. Yeah, that’s true. Jared Loughner could have stabbed 19 people in a Safeway parking lot, killing six of them with a knife, right? And with a knife, you don’t have to reload. I love that argument.
According to that “logic,” those jackasses who flew airliners into buildings 10 years ago could have just as easily carried out their missions using hot-air balloons. They both fly, right?
• Speaking of guns, under an “emergency” law passed in Texas, a concealed-weapon permit is admissible as voter ID in that state, but a student ID (with photo) is not. I can just see Arizona State Sen. Frank Antenori pacing in the war room, talking about how we have a gun-nuts’ rights gap.
• OK, so I went to the University of Arizona the other day to conduct some bidness. I parked in front of McKale Center and dug out a couple of quarters from that place in my car where the quarters go. But instead of a meter in front of my car, there was a sign directing me to a “pay station.”
I carried the quarters down to the pay station, only to find that it doesn’t accept money. You need to have a CatCard (for UA students), or you can use a specific type of credit card. As it turns out, I actually have one of those credit cards, but I usually keep it in a drawer and only use it when I travel.
Have you tried recently to pay for a rental car with cash? They look at you from across the counter and say stuff like, “Tom, huh? Is that Irish for ‘Abdul’?”
Please don’t tell me that time is passing me by. I watched the entire series of Max Headroom. I know what happens when everything gets put on a computer. Besides, I like paying in cash. I don’t like owing money.
In other news:
• Big Boi, half of the monstrously successful hip-hop duo Outkast, was arrested recently in Miami for possession of illegal substances. Antwan Andre Patton, who also goes by the names of Sir Lucious Leftfoot, the Son of Chico Dusty, Hot Tub Tony and Corporal Sticky Pantzz, was said to be in possession of ecstasy and Viagra, for which he didn’t have a prescription.
Viagra?! You’re 36 years old! And your name is Big Boi!
This is sad. From now on, you’re Big Boi With Help From Chemistry.
• Aruba’s solicitor general, the person in charge of the investigation of the disappearance of an American tourist on that island, is named Taco Stein. That’s right: Taco Stein. But, remember, Aruba is a Dutch protectorate, so in English, his name is Hamburger Mug.
• Former model Linda Evangelista, who recently had a child that was fathered by some rich guy, is asking for $46,000 a month in child support. She claims that she needs, among other things, drivers for the baby who are on call 24 hours a day, and a $175,000-per-year bodyguard for the kid.
The father of the child, billionaire François-Henri Pinault, was cheating on his then-girlfriend/now-wife Salma Hayek when he got Evangelista in a family way. There are too many punch lines there to even know where to begin.
• Finally, did you see that Sarah Palin’s son, Track (good Christian name), became a daddy just three months after he married his girlfriend? He joins his sister, Bristol, in the “Ahem” category, as she continues to try to earn a living in her self-appointed position as poster child for abstinence-after-the-fact.
So, Mama Grizzly, how’s that family-values stuff workin’ for ya?
This article appears in Sep 8-14, 2011.
François-Henri Pinault is one lucky fella
Yawn…………….Same drivel, over and over! Predictable as all hell! Speaking of guns, how about that Fast and Furious thang?
Man, I liked it better when Danehy was a faceless article in a paper. He’s one ugly dude. He looks like Marky-Mark and Ron Howard combined on one of those Conan “If They Mated” segments.
Gun rights violates basic human decency? LOL. Is it really possible to make a living writing moronic articles for a stipper newspaper? He has to have another job, right?
Right on with Fast and Furious. If that were George W Bush’s doing, it would be the lead story every week for two years. With Obama, it gets buried.
Very fun piece. Thanks, Tom
Good read to start the day. Dr Doodah
I think that right wing nut jobs ( PUPITO (LITTLE DOG…ARE U KIDDING ?) AND MIKEJOHNSON) read what they want to see and not what is actually written.
Nowhere did D say “gun rights violates basic human decency”. Wasn’t written, wasn’t implied , but Mj says it was. try again mike, or have somebody read it to you and explain it as well.
And fast and furious…so what. Attempting to change the subject are we. ?
Nice try…nobody cares. Hell, Bush probably ordered it…or Cheney …
I like guns and I shoot a variety of weapons. No, they don’t make me “feel all manly”. Yes, I’m a dyed in the wool democrat who fights hard for gun laws in a state where absolutely none exist. I hate the NRA with a purple passion. Two years ago, four teenagers tried to carjack my wife in our east side suburb garage. They were armed with an AR-10, the M-16’s big brother. How do a bunch of punk-ass kids in a decent middle class neighborhood get ahold of something like that? By letting any idiot have one with no accountability whatsoever. In this state, if you’re not armed, you’re just asking to be a victim. Plus owning a firearm, knowing how to use one, and understanding the gun laws means that you can make informed, intelligent decisions pertaining to them. Most gunless voters are completely clueless about who uses guns, why they use them, and what should be done about it. Like Danehy, they just pout and whine about instead of working for change because they don’t even know where to start first to change gun laws here.
I dont like guns cause they go boom.
I dontlike gunscause they look mean.
I dont like guns cause the dude that wrote this worthless piece of trash artical does not like guns..
I dont like guns cause the cops have guns.
I dont like guns cause the military kills people with guns..
I dont like guns cause bin laden had a gun.
I dont like guns cause the mexican drug cartel have guns
I dont like guns cause people kill themelves with guns
I dont like guns cause the gov wont let stoners have guns legally
I dont like guns cause they look mean
I dont like guns cause they cost to much
Fact is , Who gives a shit what I think. Its a Citizens right to qwn a gun if they want to.
Fact is . alot of gun owners are idiots, nothing we can do about that fact either.
Just make sure you have a gun to defend yourself from the idot that owns a gun..
Tucson has always had idiots that own and shoot guns..
Tucson is the idiot gun owner capital of the U.S. j
Im pissed ’cause they didn’t make tickets available for people outside the area – damn a Glock for 10 bucks – even 10 tix are cheap at the price – that, a carton of 1m shells and some paper targets say of Dee Dee Mierda , El Marmoto Raul G, Gallardo de Maricone … the Los tres mojados de caca Sonorans … any one want to add some target suggestions? This was inspired by Jim Hoffa Jr’s outstanding speech “Lets take these bastards ooouuut!! with dick wad standing right next to him … maybe a few week at the UofA for a kinder gentler dialogue might be in order – not Hoffa – Obama. But of course lap dog Tucson reporters with fierce intimidating straight jab MMA poses aren’t going to analyze THAT now are they?
all this gun raffle is is a free publicity stunt for a certain teapuppet who thinks to run against Giffords. every reaction to this like I am doing here, so this is my last notice of this is more face time for him. p.s. I am not saying that this could possibly be a scare tactic.
Yawn at the Laughneresque Liberals that whine, cry, piss and moan about everything! Don’t waste your time replying to my comment! Write a letter to your bro Jared!
The fact that any idiot can own a gun is precisely my point. Imagine what would America look like if instead of the National Rifle Association, we had a National Drivers Association. You can have my car when they pry it from my cold dead hands. America is destroying my right to drive my car any way I want. Seatbelts? Traffic Tickets? Airbags? It’s a conspiracy to deny me my God given right to operate my personal motor vehicle however I wish. If I want to die in a 30mph collision, that’s my decision. You can’t legislate it! Obama wants to take your car away! If we register cars, then only outlaws will drive them. The NRA makes me sick.
I’ve been trying to get more info on Taco Stein since the story of that woman’s disappearance broke. That’s got to be one of the greatest names on earth. I wish I’d thought of it.
Let the conservatives have their guns. They’re ignorant, out of touch, and down right mentally ill. Kentop proves this point, as does any stupid teabagged moron who cries all this, obama this obama that. Funny how the bathroom stalled thinks that progressives want to take away their rights, when it was republicans who deregulated EVERYTHING, passed the criminal sb1070, the criminal patriot act, and had the worst terrorist act on american soil ON THEIR WATCH. Get out crybaby teabaggers
Did you miss Obummer’s civility speech that he gave here in Jan ?
Kudos Danehy. You outed every Coors-addled half literate homunculus in the entire county.
More on point: I only use my gun to intimidate women and control the stray dog and cat population. I don’t see why I should have to suffer under gun control laws because of a few bad apples.