Tucson city voters: Do you ever feel like you’re stuck in the middle of a Coen brothers movie, where the good guys are hopelessly flawed, and the bad guys (with the exception of Anton Chigurh) are far more inept than evil, prompting the victims to laugh even as they’re being ripped off?
After spending the past couple of decades being buffeted by the ever-shifting winds of buffoonery, bureaucratic ass-covering and general indifference by elected officials to the populace they are supposed to be serving—plus the (in)actions of the dreamers who spend their spare time paving the road to hell with their good intentions—Tucsonans have found themselves existing in a community that’s not exactly upside down, but is always, maddeningly, just a little bit sideways.
Where most big cities have Movers and Shakers, Tucson’s political gridlock has left the Old Pueblo in the hands of the Unmoving and the Shaky. When a few good and modest ideas are gobbled up by the gaping maw that is Tucson’s dysfunctional city government, what comes out the other side would cause even the most jaded political observer to ask, “Why is that human leg sticking out of that wood chipper?”
I watched True Grit the other night and was impressed with the interaction between the characters. In fact, the Mattie Ross character (played masterfully by Hailee Steinfeld) gave me the idea for this column, because she reminded me so much of Regina Romero. Just kidding. Mattie Ross strung more sensible words together in one sentence than Romero has in her entire political career.
In fact, when I hear Romero speak, it reminds me of another great filmmaker, Adam Sandler, whose Billy Madison character was told by the principal, “What you’ve just said is the most insanely idiotic thing I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought.”
However, in keeping with the general theme of the column, I’m sure we could find Romero a spot in a remake of a Coen brothers’ movie. She could provide a nails-on-a-chalkboard imitation of Jennifer Jason Leigh’s nails-on-a-chalkboard imitation of Katharine Hepburn in The Hudsucker Proxy.
Or she could play Dot in Raising Arizona, who uttered the famous line, “I just love biblical names. If I have another little boy, I’ll name him Jason, Caleb or Tab.”
Actually, some of the examples suggested by the films (and their titles) are just too easy. Intolerable Cruelty?
A. Having to sit through an entire City Council meeting.
B. Listening to the police chief explain how his cops aren’t going to investigate several categories of crimes anymore.
C. Trying to navigate that road (where Toole Avenue, Fourth Avenue and Congress Street merge) at the east end of downtown near the Rialto.
No Country for Old Men?
A. A city park after dark.
B. That road at the east end of downtown by the Rialto.
Burn After Reading?
A. The Fire Department’s internal memos about sexual harassment.
B. Anything with the words “Rio Nuevo” on it.
C. An actual civil engineer’s written explanation of (and/or excuse for) that road at the east end of downtown by the Rialto.
Miller’s Crossing?
A. A pedestrian walkway (named for former Mayor George) right near the Lew Murphy Overpass.
B. A death race held at the east end of downtown to spice things up during Second Saturdays Downtown.
There are several other things that readily come to mind:
• Whenever I see Tucson City Manager Mike Letcher, I can’t help but think of Marge Gunderson in Fargo. They both wear similar earrings. That’s the only thing they have in common, because Marge is actually able to figure shit out.
• Lone Republican City Councilmember Steve Kozachik reminds me of Ed (Holly Hunter) in Raising Arizona. His heart’s occasionally in the right place, but he’s in love with the philosophical equivalent of Nicolas Cage. And that’s only going to get him in trouble, especially when his philosophy tries to steal diapers from a convenience store.
• For reasons that it would take 10,000 psychiatrists (or one really good voodoo lady) to figure out, The Big Lebowski reminds me of Janos Wilder. While I like that movie, I don’t worship it like some people do. However, it does remind me of Janos. Maybe it’s because I tend to call him “Dude” a lot. Or maybe the size of the bowling implements reminds me of what it takes to try to start a successful restaurant in downtown Tucson, especially one adjacent to one of the biggest construction sites in Tucson history.
What’s really amazing is that Janos could have stayed in the foothills and raked in the snowbirds’ cash, but he chose to go back downtown. Dude.
• And finally there is Mayor Bob Walkup, the guy who is supposed to be in charge of this whole mess, the man who comes to mind when discussing the Coens’ least-successful movie: The Man Who Wasn’t There.
This article appears in Jun 23-29, 2011.
Amen!!
In France there is a name for the kind of inane diatribe that Danehy spews about elected officials. It’s called “Hateful Speech” and it is currently being used to legally punish defamed designer John Galliano for his “public insults based on origin, religious affiliation, race or ethnicity,” a crime which can mean up to six months in prison and up to $32,175 in fines.” I’m not sure whether it’s because she’s a woman or because of her Mexican origin, but Danehy should be called out for his repeated attacks on Regina Romero. Did he learn nothing from the civility conversations we have been having since the shootings in Tucson? Apparently not.
Great column, Danehy. First time I have agreed with damn near everything you wrote. May I add a Coen brothers reference or two? Maybe Tucson ought to rename itself Unpainted. As in Unpainted, Arizona. No paint, no dressing. What you see is what you get…a shithole.
And finally, the Tucson City Council, which reminds me of a character in the rather unpopular, but hilarious Coen flick “The Ladykillers”. The character is Garth Pancake, who thinks every task is the “easiest thing in the world”, until he blows his hand off, then ends up in a Steel Sack on a trash barge.
Get over it, Rock N Roll. Regina is a maroon.
Spot on Danehy! It makes me feel good that someone at the Weekly has a similiar taste in their mouth after sampling our wonderful city goverment. who ever rocknroll is should remember January a CRAZY person not a conservative did something dispicable on January 8th 2011. Also Regina Romero is an idiot regardless of ethnicty so put down your race card. (I can say it I think because I’m brown?) Remember I’m a Libertarian not a Republican so if you need to talk about vitriol hate speech make sure to point it towards the right political persuation.
I would like to say that Regina may not be the best at articulating every point that she is tying to make, but than who is? What I can say is that at the City Council meeting on the 21st she did a masterful job of putting the Mayor and councilmen Kozachik in their place and ended the dribble that was being spewed about. What she did for Jefferson Park will be hard to repay, she may have her faults but she had the heart and strength to stand up for the people who so badly needed her help. So I say THANK YOU Regina.
I doubt Tom’s dislike of Romero has anything to do with her ethnicity or her gender. The impression I got was that he feels she is inept and doesn’t deserve the office she holds. While impolite, he wasn’t putting her face under crosshairs or using doublethink to describe her political views. Also, we’re not in France rocknroll. While I do like the French attitude on most things, they have a most unhealthy lack of respect for free speech.
Correction, I meant to say newspeak, not doublethink….
Hmm, first of all, you clearly have not watched the John Wayne version of ‘True Grit’ or you wouldn’t think Hailee was so masterful. Second of all, Romero strung a lot of words together at a recent council, which were good enough to actually penetrate all the propaganda promoted by local developers (why don’t you go after that bunch?) that Tucson residents don’t like students or that mini-dorms don’t make more crime (winter break and 7 tvs in a minidorm anyone?) and are single family units (really your honor these 6 teenagers and their boy/girl friends are a family). THANK you Romero for your recent apparent (so says Danehy) incoherence, which was much needed recently at the Council meeting.
Agreed JC! Kudos and THANK YOU to Regina for wrapping up the issue at hand on Tueday night! She was awesome!
Why isn’t Danehy running for a council seat if he thinks its so easy, or yet Mayor? Must be nice to complain about people and have the opportunity to edit until the printing deadline! Can a sarcastic pessimist ever be satisfied (except at the expense of others)?
There is NO person on this planet that can please everyone all of the time. Then, there are those that dress well, speak eloquently and yet say nothing. Welcome to the United States of America!
Romero gave a rational, cogently argued and spirited defense of Jefferson Park Neighborhood’s Neighborhood Preservation Zone when it was up for a vote this week. Without her brilliant input, the NPZ would have been voted down, and we would be facing years of bulldozing by mini-dorm developers.
Now I remember why I stopped reading the Tucson Weekly years ago! Reading Danehy’s gripes, criticisms, and slams eventually gets tiring and wearing. It might serve the community better if he were to just do some volunteer work or pick up trash.
Regina courageously and succintly defended the right of the Jefferson Park Neighborhood to preserve itself on Tuesday, and her efforts were stupendous enough to overcome the stubborn resistance of Kozachik and Mayor Walkup. BRAVO! Just a small victory against the feeling that “He who has the most money wins!” attitude of the world today.
I have to say that I didn’t think anything Romero said Tuesday night at the council meeting was idiotic and if it weren’t for the way she strung possibly the most sensible words together of the evening my beautiful historic neighborhood would be in severe danger of becoming something other than that. My family and I owe Regina a huge thank you and we applaud her for her strength and ability to stand up to those who’s opinions were swayed by people who only stood to profit.
I hope you, Danehy don’t ever have to face the destruction of your neighborhood and quality of life like we in Jefferson Park did but if you do, you will be much better off if you have people like Romero on your side.
If this city is like a coen brothers flick of course there is a role in there for the self congratulatory womens high school basketball coach who fancies himself as a genius political commentator who can “figure stuff out.” I would say walter matthau would have been the perfect person to play this role but walter was a loveable kind of guy.
Char001. Please. Why don’t you come out and say Tom is a racist. Here is what you should know about Tom. Political correctness is a thin line that he walks on. As someone who believes that we as a society have come a long way from being the hate filled, social class, race hating bigots we are. Tom does one thing I respect more than all others. He brings a honest opinion not onl about others but about himself too. He doesn’t care if the person is a woman, man, black, white, mexican, or bald with one eye. Some people should actually be more like him. By the way, you might need to know the race of his wife and kids before you pull that card out.
Ever since your buddy Hein was fired by Regina, Shirley, Karin and Steve Leal, you have been ridiculously critical of this council. Why don’t you just “fess up” with your readers about your real agenda here. Or better yet, just join those other two dishonest “journalists” O’Dell and O’Dell Jr. (Brodesky)at the Star. Then you can be a threesome in your dishonest, mindless, vitriolic criticism of the Mayor & Council and the city many of us love.
Recently I heard that Walkup is going to take some personal financial responsibility for the money that was thrown at Rio Nuevo. Great.
Tom
I’m late in my comment but not wrong. I figured that the Tucson Loonies (not to be confused with Canadien $$) would be out in force. The second comment regarding this column is perfect illustration. I send Tucson stories to friends all over the world and they cant wait for the next blast. By the way dorky boy,aka rocknroll, this isnt france, and although I see alot of Cone heads on 4th we are far enough away that we really dont need to consider the french relative unless we are spealing of fries. BTW, Reginas name rhymes perfectly with a C word that needs to be used more often when we speak of our female elected officials. It is interesting to watch Tucson the city fade into obscurity as every where around it flourishes. Overall I think Tom’s comparison to a Coen Brothers” movie is very positive. I would have compared Tucson the city to George Romero’s movie “The Night of the Living Dead”. Hey, do you think Regina is working the sequal, “The Life of The Dead Who Don’t Know It” set in Tucson’ Barrio Hollywood?