Mark McKenna recalls what it was like growing up in a chaotic Tucson home during the aughts. Dealing with uncertainty and a lack of positive direction wasn’t easy for the 2013 Tucson High School graduate.
“I saw violence in the home as a kid,” McKenna said. “I just didn’t see violence, but there were also subtle versions of misogyny.”
McKenna, 29, is working to combat that with Boys to Men Tucson. The nonprofit is helping local boys by providing safe and nurturing spaces. Boys to Men Tucson, which was formed in 2018, served 371 young men in 2023. Seventy mentors were kind enough to donate more than 12,000 hours in 2023.
McKenna, the fund development manager for Boys to Men Tucson, is appreciative of the altruists who have donated their time to the noble cause.
“I’m thrilled we’ve had that kind of help,” McKenna said. “We need as much assistance as possible. Our mission is very simple. We want men and boys to have access to safe and loving spaces where they can develop intentional and mindful relationships around healthy masculinity. It’s been such a rewarding experience.”
McKenna, who has been working with Boys to Men since 2022, has been helping redefine masculinity. Boys to Men isn’t just about eliminating violence in relationships; the altruistic group is about opening up minds.
“We need to get beyond what society deems culturally appropriate,” McKenna said. “It’s beyond considering violence and how violence is not OK. It’s also about how that it’s OK for boys to cry and to be emotional. What is culturally appropriate for boys is to be angry and to shut down or to wear certain colors. For many showing emotion is not behaving like a boy and we are trying to get beyond that and show young men that there is a different ways to conduct themselves.”
The upside isn’t just for at-risk teenagers but an entire community. Young men that are in touch with their feelings are less likely to lash out.
“We want young men to grow and to connect,” McKenna said. “We want young men not to fear things like homosexuality and we don’t want boys to oppress others or make fun of people.”
Progress is on the horizon because Boys to Men is partnering with ParentAid. They are in lockstep on an eight-week pilot program dubbed Connecting Dads and Sons, designed for young men between 13 and 19.
“It’s for boys and fathers,” McKenna said. “The dad is the person who shows in their lives as much as possible and tells them they love them. It can be a biological father or not a biological father. We will practice healthy communication skills, navigate conflict in a healthy way and we’ll help fathers find resources and support to better connect with their sons. It will be about having a safe space to get together and vent and understand what a dad and son go through.”
McKenna values the emotional rewards his job provides, but he didn’t intend to work in an industry that alters lives. “I have an interesting trajectory,” McKenna said. “I worked in the food service industry and had my own meal plan food delivery service.”
However, McKenna lost clients due to the pandemic.
“I immediately looked for work that was available at that point,” McKenna said. “It was a difficult time for me. I found a new job and worked at a solar installation company, but I fell off of a roof and broke my back.”
McKenna was in a difficult spot but bounced back. “I was used to fast-paced work,” McKenna said. “As a man, I was geared to get up and get out and produce. As a man it’s instilled to get out and provide. If you can’t do that, what good are you?”
McKenna dealt with an age-old stereotype, rehabbed his back, and discovered a new, fulfilling career.
McKenna landed with Boys to Men and couldn’t be more pleased. “It’s a terrific fit,” McKenna said. “I enjoy seeing fathers and sons’ lives improve. It’s so gratifying.”
This article appears in Sep 5-11, 2024.
