Ask a Mexican?

Dear Readers: We begin, as we do each week, with cojones,
although the huevos in question deal with my column a couple of
semanas ago on why gabachos prefer the former term for
testicles as opposed to the latter. I gave a rough etymology of the two
(cojones comes from the Spanish singular cojón,
testicle, from the Latin coleo—sack—while
huevo actually means egg and derives from ovum). A reader
wrote in with a clarification:

A recent column contained comments on huevos as opposed
to cojones. As a retired Latin teacher who is also fluent in
French and moderately competent in Spanish, I offer this correction,
not as a quibbler, but as someone hopeful that you are always open to
learning something new. The language of your columns suggests that is
the case. In Latin, coleus was a popular word for the testicle,
and coleos habere was a proverbial expression, equivalent to “to
have balls (courage).” The derivation of cojon (sorry, I don’t
know how to type the accent) reflects the transformation of the sound
“L + yod” into “j” by Latin speakers in Spain. Other examples are hijo from filius and hoja from folia. Thus, the
correct etymon of cojon/es is coleus. Your citing ovum as the etymon for huevo/s is, of course,
correct.

Tar Hill Tory

Dear Gabacho: Gracias for the clarification, although you
didn’t correct anything—you offered the plural origins of
cojón, while I explained the singular.

Pero chichi for tat: As I’ve previously explained, but will
again—not just for you, but for the muchos who continue to
preguntar this—it’s fácil to type out all
the diacritics the Spanish language uses on both Macs and PCs. To make
an acute accent appear on a Mac, hold down the option key, hit the E
key, release option, then type the vowel you want accented. Spanish’s
other diacritics get registered roughly the same way. An umlaut appears
by pressing option, hitting the U key, releasing option and hitting U
again; do the same if you want a tilde, but substitute the N key for U.
For upside-down exclamation points, hold down option, and hit the 1
key—¡voila! An upside-down question mark is a bit
trickier—hold down option plus shift, then punch the
question-mark key, ¿comprende?

Microsoft Word is somewhat harder. Upside-down exclamation points
and question marks require you to push control plus alt plus shift,
then type whatever you want flipped around. Acute accents pop up after
you hold down control, then hit the apostrophe key; release, and type
in your vowel. A tilde: control plus shift plus squiggly mark, release,
the letter N.

Both Macs and Bill Gates require you to hold the shift key after
executing the above instructions if you want a diacritic to top a
capital letter. And remember, people: No grave accents in Spanish, or
tildes on letters other than n—that’s the domain of the mongrel
tongue known as Portuguese.

Who is Carlos Slim Helú?

Guillermo Verjas

Dear Gabacho: Mexico’s answer to Bill Gates, except fatter, less
charitable by 9/10 and with a monopoly on Mexico’s telecommuncations
that would’ve made Rockefeller seem like a rag-picker. He should focus
on buying California instead of The New York Times to
make the Reconquista legit.

¡ASK A MEXICAN BOOK CONTEST!

In 25 words or less, tell me your favorite local Mexican restaurant,
and what makes it so bueno. I’ll soon be traveling ’round los
Estados Unidos in my trusty burro to research my upcoming book on
the history of Mexican food in the United States, and I need places to
haunt and cacti to sleep under. One entry per person; one winner per
paper; five winners total for areas that don’t carry my column; and the
contest ends when I say so!

Ask the Mexican at themexican@askamexican.net,
myspace.com/ocwab or facebook.com/garellano; find him on Twitter;
or write via snail mail at: Gustavo Arellano, P.O. Box 1433, Anaheim,
CA 92815-1433!

This article appears in Aug 13-19, 2009.