Dear Mexican: My question is simple: Can you confirm that there
are doctors, lawyers and other professionals living in Mexico? I’m a
Mexican-American woman living in Chicago who had a HEATED discussion
about that topic. My friend, a teacher, was of the opinion that there
really aren’t any. She believes that the only wealthy Mexicans are drug
lords. There seems to be a lot of ignorance and confusion about this
topic. Please enlighten her and those who think like her.
Incensed in Chicago
Dear Brazer: Por supuesto there are doctors, lawyers,
accountants, scientists and other professionals in Mexico. Who do you
think sews up the narcos after a gun battle, fights off American
extradition efforts, launders money and devises nuevas ways to
smuggle?
Why do all Mexican restaurant workers cram the napkin dispensers
so full that you can’t possibly remove a napkin without a pair of
pliers?
Messy Eater
Dear Gabacho: It’s called “refilling a napkin dispenser.”
When I speak to other Mexicans about higher education and its
importance, they always interrupt me to place an emphasis on
associate’s degrees. I’ve wanted to slap a primo/prima/amigo
silly. Why the low standard? I’ve asked educators about this before
and was told it was a low achievement standard that was placed on
Mexican-American students in the 1960s and 1970s, mainly by high school
counselors. True?
Párate and Deliver
Dear Wab: Instead of giving your primo/prima/amigo a
cachetada, why don’t you help them transfer to a four-year
university? Heaven knows America needs more of its Mexicans at
institutes of higher learning; on top of our abysmal high school
graduation rates, not enough of us go on to get a college diploma.
The 2008 U.S. Census Bureau Current Population Survey’s Annual
Social and Economic Supplement found that only 28 percent of Latinos
who finished high school went on to earn at least a bachelor’s
degree—and the percentage for Mexis is undoubtedly smaller. (The
survey didn’t break down figures by Latin-American nationality.) Why
the low standard? Ignorance, silly; it’s not just limited to Know
Nothings!
Oh, and I don’t think there was a widespread gabacho counselor conspiracy in the 1960s to funnel Mexicans of that generation
into community college. Most encouraged their charges to not bother
with education, period.
Why are Mexicans so … laid back?
Crazy and Lazy
Dear Gabacho: Mañana, mañana. Que
será, será. Mexicans sleeping under a cactus. All
iconic American commentaries on our inherent relaxed nature.
La verdad is, Mexicans are more neurotic than Woody Allen’s
onscreen persona—and if you don’t believe me, you try
living life avoiding la migra, or knowing that if white teens in
a Pennsylvania hick-town murder you, they’ll get off with simple
assault.
I recently worked security at a concert here in Albuquerque. As I
was checking IDs and letting people into the beer area, I noticed that
almost all of the Mexican guys held on to their
wives’/girlfriends’/lady friends’ IDs: The guys hold them, show them
and then put them back into their own wallet. What’s up with that? I
asked a co-worker about this, and she told me it’s a power thing. So
what’s the deal?
Curious Gringo
Dear Gabacho: Could be a power-trip macho thing, but the
chica probably didn’t want to carry a purse and would rather let
her man carry the ID than stick it between her chichis.
Sometimes, Mexicans aren’t rocket science.
Ask the Mexican at themexican@askamexican.net or myspace.com/ocwab; find
him on Facebook or Twitter; or write via snail mail at: Gustavo
Arellano, P.O. Box 1433, Anaheim, CA 92815-1433!
This article appears in May 28 – Jun 3, 2009.