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 THE BIG LEBOWSKI. The latest comedy from the Coen brothers
never really comes together as a whole; but the texture of it,
as it spills across the screen, is funny, strange and wonderful.
Jeff Bridges plays a type-B personality called the Dude, a chronically
unemployed pot smoker dedicated to nothing except his bowling
buddies, and bowling itself. A case of mistaken identity leads
the Dude into some uncool, high-stress situations: kidnapping,
gunplay, robbery, and the like. All this seems like an excuse
to introduce a palette of oddball characters from the California
spectrum. The Coen brothers have a great time concocting visual
subplots and dream sequences that reference everything from Busby
Berkeley musicals to spaghetti westerns to detective films, but
they give their most loving attention to the bowling sequences.
Who knew bowling was such a photogenic sport? --Richter
DANGEROUS BEAUTY. This is why we love Hollywood! Dangerous
Beauty mixes the crass and melodramatic with the lofty and
noble, extruding trashy entertainment that's wildly enjoyable,
even if it does leave you feeling used and guilty. Catherine McCormack
plays Veronica Franco, a courtesan plying her wares in a strange
version of 16th-century Venice where everybody speaks English
and appears in soft focus. Oh well, whatever--she's a plucky one,
and her plain-speaking, bawdy intelligence eventually charms most
of the Venetian ruling class, including hunky Marco Venier (Rufus
Sewell), who risks it all to be her boyfriend. Dangerous Beauty
transplants progressive '90s sexual politics to the repressive
16th century, where uneducated wives were kept safely inside but
courtesans read whatever they liked and had the run of the place.
Veronica's pleas for independence, sexual equality, and erotic
freedom resonate across the centuries, making her far more spicy
than any 20th century spice girl. --Richter
GREASE. Bill Clinton is back and better than ever. He plays
a young '50s high school stud, and let me tell you, his John Travolta
impersonation is dead-on. Stockard Channing also stars, as a girl.
It's systematic, automatic, hyyyydromatic--why, it's re-released
lightning! --Woodruff
MEET THE DEEDLES. Two crrrrazy surfer boys foil an insidious,
wacky plot at a National Park. Joel Shalit says, "The best
comedy since Good Burger!" And Michael Medved
calls it, "A delightful romp!" Not to be confused with
Peter Jackson's gory, zany Meet the Feebles, about rapist
cannibalistic muppets. --Woodruff
MR. NICE GUY. In a stunning departure from his previous
films, Jackie Chan plays a martial artist who must fight vicious
criminals. He is aided in this pursuit by Gabrielle Fitzpatrick,
who mysteriously drops out of the film about halfway through and
is never seen again. But Mr. Nice Guy isn't about consistency
of plot, character and setting, but rather about Chan doing things
that could get him seriously injured. As usual, after the story
ends the audience is treated to the outtakes wherein Chan actually
is injured. There's nothing funnier than seeing a guy get his
butt stuck in a garbage can--and then not be able to get it
out!!! I think this is the first time that Chan has had to
speak in English throughout a film, and he does an admirable job
of acting like he knows what he's saying. Maybe he could give
Ethan Hawke a lesson. --DiGiovanna
MRS. DALLOWAY. Robin Williams stars as a man who can't
get the courts to let him have time with his children, due to
a messy divorce, so he dresses up in drag as a thick-framed older
woman and gets hired as their nanny! Oh my god! Oh wait, that's
Mrs. Doubtfire. Mrs. Dalloway stars Rupert Graves and Vanessa
Redgrave in a very "grave" tale of people whose lives
have complications, and then their complications have complications.
It's complicated. Based on a Virginia Woolf novel, with lots of
narration and flashbacks and minutiae about consciousness and
the like. From the director of Antonia's Line. --Woodruff
OSCAR & LUCINDA. I used to think movies like this were
over my head, but now I realize they're just ineptly conceived
and flatly directed. Unless you've read the Peter Carey novel,
you'll have no idea what Oscar & Lucinda is supposed
to mean or why you should care--picturesque cinematography and
Oscar-nominated costumes notwithstanding. Made in Australia and
set in the late 19th century, this loooong drama follows the lives
of Ralph Fiennes, a timid, sickly religious student with a bad
gambling habit; and Cate Blanchett, a rich heiress who's obsessed
with glass and who also gambles. They're too repressed or otherwise
quirky to act on their love for each other, so Fiennes runs off
to the jungle so he can deliver a glass church to a man Blanchett
used to like. The whole experience is very PBS; Fiennes, with
blowzy orange hair and a red-cheeked, womanly face, is even the
spitting image of Lady Elaine Fairchild from Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood.
At any moment I thought some twirpy volunteer might break in and
ask for a pledge, and let me tell you, it would have been a welcome
relief. --Woodruff
PRIMARY COLORS. In this wide-ranging, thought-provoking
movie, director Mike Nichols takes a hard look at how our political
system methodically churns out idealistic hypocrites just aching
to run the country. in This thinly disguised account of the 1992
Clinton primary campaign centers on Governor Jack Stanton (John
Travolta), a manipulative skirt-chaser with a big, throbbing heart;
his lovely wife Susan (Emma Thompson), a behind-the-scenes power
player; and the starry-eyed Henry Burton (Adrian Lester), the
campaign manager who wants to believe that Stanton truly cares
about the common man. Governor Stanton's supporters stick by their
man through bimbo flare-ups and a general array of dirty tricks,
but they suffer from his lack of moral sense. Nichols raises some
interesting questions about who believes in what, and why they
even bother, without being pedantic about it.
--Richter
THE PROPOSITION. Willy Hurt, Kenny Branagh, Maddy Stowe,
Doogie Howser and Bobby Loggia head up the cast of this film,
which is something about a surrogate adoption, or an artificially
inseminated dancing baby...or something. From the director who
brought us Then and Now and left it on our doorstep and
set it on fire and ran away. --Woodruff
TWILIGHT. This film noir project seems to have been started
in 1955, when characters had names like Gloria Lamar and L.A.
was full of dangerous broads who would kill to keep their reputations
clean. Suddenly, the cast and crew fell asleep à la Rip
Van Winkle, and woke up 40 years later, skin sagging and hair
graying, but knowing that they must finish what they started.
The only modification made to the script in response to this time
warp is the scene where Paul Newman and James Garner discuss their
prostate glands. Reese Witherspoon, sporting newly enhanced breasts,
and Liev Schrieber, also with new breasts, are brought in as fresh
blood to nourish the aging cast and crew. Schrieber bleeds real
good, too. Real good.
--DiGiovanna
U.S. MARSHALS. In Hollywood, if a sequel only brings back
half of the original's stars, it's called a "spin-off."
If it brings back half the original's stars and none of its suspense,
it's called U.S. Marshals. Tommy Lee Jones stars as the
same squinty, no-bullshit character he played in The Fugitive.
But because Harrison Ford was busy working on a movie about a
president armed only with a bullwhip who commandeers a spacecraft
in order to save an Amish community from IRA assassins, now Wesley
Snipes is the dude on the run. After a big, noisy plane crash,
Snipes escapes and soon enters the Phonebooth of Expository Dialogue,
where we learn: (1) He's innocent; (2) he has top-secret info
and is wanted dead; and (3) he's not nearly as fun to root for
as Ford. Then Robert Downey, Jr. shows up as a federal agent with
no sense of humor, and you know what that means--he's the dreaded
two-armed man! As for poor Jones, he tries hard, but needs more
to work with than the jumble of suitcase trades, gun switches
and likable- good- guys- who- look- like- Judge- Reinhold- so- you- know- they're- dead- meat
that the film supplies. As a result, U.S. Marshals maintains
the peculiar distinction of being impossible to follow yet completely
predictable.
--Woodruff
WILD THINGS. If the previews hadn't given away the first
hour of this poorly directed film noir outing, it would probably
have been a lot less boring. As it is, things only start to get
interesting when Kevin Bacon's penis first appears...but that
may be true of life in general. Denise Richards makes her sophomore
appearance here, and she is a marvel of modern science. Luckily,
she didn't have the star power to demand a "no nude scenes"
clause in her contract like box-office draw/no-talent Neve Campbell,
so you can really get a good look at all the scalpel marks on
her surgically enhanced body. There's also some plain-old lesbian
sex between Richards and Campbell, shots of Theresa Russell's
butt, and, I think, a plot. It has something to do with a teacher
being framed for rape so that he can sue someone and split the
proceeds with everyone who's in on the scam, which turns out to
be just about everyone in southern Florida. There's some nice
stuff at the end where the back story is filled in during the
credits, but you have to sit through a lot to get to the payoff.
Since there's no suspense or tension, the task of keeping the
audience interested is handed over to the barely-legal sex and
Bill Murray's comic-relief role as a sleazy lawyer in a phony
neck-brace. Murray steals the show, but he's only in a few scenes;
and unless you think Kevin Bacon's (admittedly impressive) penis
is worth the $7.50 admission, this might not be your best movie
value. --DiGiovanna
Special Screenings
FOUR DOLLAR FANTASY. The Screening Room presents Four
Dollar Fantasy, a series of short films (shown on video) by
David Bergan and Mike Plante. Just like Quentin Tarantino, Plante
and Bergan labor at filmmaking when they aren't toiling at their
media-soaked day jobs: Plante works at the Loft, and Bergan makes
educational CD-roms. Their films cover "a variety of situations,"
like swimming, trombones, and porno, and feature music by a bunch
of local bands. For you local hipsters sticking pins in the map,
some of the films even star Bob Log III of Doo Rag fame. These
films make vacuuming the Loft look poignant and full of meaning,
plus the filmmakers have promised to give out free Pop Tarts to
audience members. Four Dollar Fantasy screens at 8 and
9:30 p.m. Friday, April 3, at The Screening Room, 127 E. Congress
St. Admission is $4.
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