March 2 - March 8, 1995

[The Skinny]

MAYORAL MUTTERINGS: While the community breathlessly awaits Councilman Bruce Wheeler's decision whether to run for mayor, run for re-election in Ward One, or just not run at all, one GOP candidate already has taken out petitions. Sharon Collins, the administrator/co-owner of a retirement complex, will be running for the office. Which means Mayor George Miller will be opposed by somebody, for sure, at least in the general election. Only other strongly rumored GOP candidate is local sportscaster Bill Roemer Jr., son of famed FBI agent and writer Bill Roemer Sr. (Man Against the Mob, and two others). The younger Roemer is contemplating a run in Wheeler's ward.

We're also told there's a strong possibility Ward 4 Councilman Roger Sedlmayr won't be running for mayor or for re-election. This is confirmed by our knowledge that former city council members can continue playing golf for free on city courses, which means Roger has no motivation to remain in public office.

DOUBLE TROUBLE: While in the process of increasing their per diem by another 750 tax-free dollars each month, that wacky bunch of tax-cuttin', government-reducin' freaks in the Arizona House of Representatives also figured out a great way to reduce the high cost of political campaigns: double the length of time they're elected from two to four years!

Never mind that there's no state house in the country that has four-year terms for members, and that there are many states that don't believe it's necessary for their senates, either. But these Arizona bozos will do whatever they gotta to double their time on the tit. Fortunately, the passage of the term extensions requires a vote of the public. Unfortunately, we don't get to vote on their slimy back-door pay raises.

The elitist mentality of those pushing term extensions was summed up by the clownish state rep who made the proposal: "It would give us the time to do our business without constantly running for election." Which is sorta like what Hitler said when he dismissed the Reichstag back in '33. This means these cheeseheads don't even grasp their primary role in a Democratic society--facing the voters to determine if the business being done is what the people want.

Considering many of their recent actions, it would make more sense to return to what this republic thrived on for its first 100 years or so--annual elections and one-year terms for legislative bodies, thus allowing the public more opportunities to correct errors.

By the way, the elitist who made this idiotic four-year proposal was Tucson Democrat Andy Nichols. Congrats, Andy, you finally found something your GOP colleagues could support.

GRABBING THE GOP: Tucson City Manager Mike "The Spike" Brown has been laboring to get the city council to take up most of the infrastructure obligations legendary land speculator Don Diamond has incurred for his Rocking K Development. How would this come to be? Simple: Brown wants the city to annex Rocking K. But we'd advise the council to analyze the political impact.

Right now the mayor and council is all Democrat. Hard to tell on some meeting days, but true. The large Democrat registration margin and city voting patterns give Democrats a big leg up in city elections--unless Tucson annexes a vast track of new development on the far east side. A development with lots of tile roofs, pink houses and California refugees who tend to vote Republican. We ain't exactly talkin' another Sam Hughes neighborhood here, folks.

Which means that besides screwing all of us with increased infrastructure burdens that are currently Diamond's responsibility, the boneheads of the Democratic majority are about to make a political move that will ultimately give the town back to the Republicans.

Irony is that most Repubs now support election by ward, while Demos don't--for obvious reasons. Throw in Rocking K and the GOP may just decide at-large elections are OK after all.

BROWN-NOSING IS AN ART IN CADDYSHACK: We've discovered former KGUN-TV, Channel 9, anchoress Nina Trasoff in Oro Valley doing PR for a grand a month for the incumbent regime. It will be her puff-piece project that drops on Caddyshack residents shortly to explain what a great job the wonderful town council has been doing to save the environment in general and Honey Bee Canyon in particular. Great and wonderful if you're a greedy developer, that is.

Just a coincidence no doubt, but folks will probably be reading Trasoff's propaganda right before the March 28 recall election of Mayor Richard Parker and Councilwoman Valerie Hoyt.

Councilwoman Cheryl Skalsky was supposed to include something in that mailing from the other side of the debate, and she informs us she was told by town officials she'd have a few days to do so. Fair enough--Trasoff worked on her puff piece for weeks. Unfortunately, at the one council meeting Skalsky missed recently, the rest of the council ran the Trasoff piece through as quick as they could, thereby cutting off Skalsky's opposing views.

Which was real stupid of them--like the residents of Caddyshack are too damn dumb to know there's another side and too ignorant to recognize a pre-recall puff piece when they see one?

Anyway, here's a choice piece of dialog from the February 22 meeting at OV Town Hall, taken from official notes:

Council Member Kautenberger stated we need to move forward. Council members reviewed the revised wording to the newsletter. Mr. Sweet (Town Manager) asked if it would be helpful to read it into the record. Council member Hoyt stated so far you guys are doing good. Ms. Trasoff stated--don't pluralize it, it was the mayor that came up with these edits--they were wonderful.

Nina! Go the video store and check out Caddyshack. You just brown-nosed Judge Smails!

NO SHAME IN DOGPATCH: We've reported the blithering idiots on the Marana Town Council have gone ahead and paid attorney Si Schorr of the law firm of Lewis & Roca $76,000 to date, with more coming, for his role in representing the Town of Marana and New World Homes (face it--they're joined at the hip, with the same law firm representing both) in the recent tussle over referendum petitions.

We've also pointed out this is the same Si Schorr who has collected $175,000 to date for representing Pima County in those useless and stupid Alan Lang hearings last year--and that a useless and stupid Pima County Board of Supervisors keeps on paying him.

Well, Marana/New World lost the case to attorneys Anne Graham and Jerry Myers, who represented the petitioners who wanted the referendum. Hey, fair's fair: when a government makes you sue them to perform their duties, and you win, that government gets to pay your lawyer.

So Graham and Myers submitted bills for about the same amount that Schorr has already been paid. Seems fair enough--they won.

Unfortunately, Marana and Schorr are now opposing payment of that bill because they think the charges are too high and are moving to cut it by two-thirds!

Remember, the deal made between Dogpatch and New World was that New World would pick up the tab for Schorr and everything else--which includes Graham and Myers, since Schorr lost the case.

Only problem is, the craven dickheads who run Dogpatch have already paid Schorr without collecting from New World. And again, it's a little hard to figure who Schorr really represents. Or, for that matter, who Dogpatch Town Attorney Daniel Hochuli really represents these days.

Hochuli, by the way, claims it's unlikely that two sole practitioners could possibly charge as much as a large firm like Lewis & Roca. Guess he never heard of high-priced sole practitioners, like Robert Hirsch once was. It's even harder to figure how Schorr can purport that the lawyers who beat him are only entitled to a third of what he got for losing. Particularly when you note that the whole cockamamie idea to reject those referendum petitions based on the size of the type was born at a meeting in his office.

Lawyers are truly amazing, aren't they? Schorr gets to bill Marana/New World some more for fighting the billing of his successful opposition. Gotta give the guy an A for creativity. 'Course, you could say the same for Willy Sutton.

THE STRANGE CASE OF THE INVISIBLE OFFICE: That former Secretary of State Jim Shumway was more than kind to the inept crew in charge of Pima County's 1994 election in his investigative report is nowhere more evident than in the bizarre case of the non-office.

Sahuarita resident Todd Archer, son of defrocked former Pima County constable Lee Archer, filed as a write-in candidate for the constable's position in Pima Justice Precinct Six. Only problem was, there is no such position. The Board of Supervisors created JP6 for the Green Valley area to keep those pampered blue-hairs from having to drive into town when they sue over such outrages as getting nudged by a runaway golf cart. The Supes considered this sufficient sucking up, and didn't include a constable in the package. Good call, for once--it saved money and nobody missed it.

Archer obviously knew this. Unfortunately, incompetent county elections director Delores Johnston and her boss, Clerk of the Board Jane Williams, didn't. So they set the counting of write-in votes for an office they were too oblivious to know didn't exist. Todd Archer got 11 votes.

The story could stop there, but because 11 votes were cast for this non-office, Archer the Younger went ahead and filed suit in Superior Court to be awarded the job that didn't exist. Which makes Archer the Younger almost as big a public nuisance as Archer the Elder.

Superior Court Judge Richard Hannah rejected the Archer claim with the first notes of reason and competence in this entire proceeding. It's no surprise this crew can lose more than 800 real votes in one precinct.

BIGOT UPDATE: You may recall that three months ago Donald F. Barrington created an organization of his very own to help the poor, besieged and bedraggled of Arizona resist the ever-advancing hordes from less fortunate countries. He calls his humanitarian efforts "Border Blockade."

The tool of choice selected by Barrington to fend off the "tides of illegal immigrants" would be a law not unlike California's Proposition 187 passed by that state's voters in last November's election. Prop 187 denies basic public services such as welfare and medical assistance to undocumented persons--all stuff we bet would really piss off Jesus Christ, were he alive today.

Well, Barrington held a press conference recently to update everyone about the neat plans and vast scope of Border Blockade, which has become an official political action committee registered with the secretary of state.

Barrington told the press he's currently gathering support to pass a state law which would require proof of U.S. citizenship for anyone attempting to register to vote in Arizona. And, he added, Border Blockade is now in 16 other states. Whoopee.

However, from what The Skinny can gather, Barrington's group has not filed the appropriate papers to begin an initiative campaign in Arizona. And Barrington refuses to identify his funding sources until he's required to do so under state statute, which, he maintains, is not 'til November. We wonder who'll show up on that contributors' list--The American Nazi Party? The Klan? Mesa Republicans? Stay tuned.

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March 2 - March 8, 1995

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