PUNDIT POTPOURRI: This impeachment thing--"The Trial of the Century," we keep hearing--hasn't proven much of a hit with viewers. Ratings are low, maybe because we've already heard more than we ever needed to about the President's lecherous doings. Even the local pundits in the afternoon dailies--folks like GOP National Committeeman Mike Hellon and UA poli-sci prof John Garcia--said they were too busy to tune into the proceedings.

Media Mix But that doesn't mean the networks aren't covering it. Our favorite channel to watch Washington transform itself into a political tinseltown is MSNBC, with its never-ending coverage of the President's boner.

The network, which answers the riddle of what you get when you cross NBC News with all the 21st-century power of Microsoft, is all-Monica, all-the-time, from coffee klatches in the afternoon to gabfests late into the evening, with taped replays all through the night.

The hardest-working man in show business these days is John Gibson, who hosts two full hours on Zippergate: Internight and White House in Crisis. (Gibson took over the latter show when the sly Keith Olberman, after 11 months of talking about Bill, Hillary, Monica, Linda, and Paula, sought political asylum on the Fox Sports network.)

Gibson's shows feature the usual collection of pundits along with phone calls from viewers, who certainly have their share of insights into blowjob cover-ups. During one segment at the top, Gibson puts a guest in what he calls "the hot seat!"

A recent episode found the Rev. Jerry Falwell in "the hot seat!" Falwell had penned a newspaper article which included a confessional speech he thought Clinton should give to the Senate. From what we could gather, the speech was along the lines of Rev. Jimmy Swaggart's delightful "I have sinned..." testimonial, and concluded with a plea to the Senate for forgiveness.

Yeah, that'll happen--right about the same time as Superman and Batman team up to overthrow Saddam Hussein and his League of Villains. But that didn't stop Gibson from tossing the idea around with his panel of experts during the next segment. This is what the coverage has become: not just an endless stream of opinions about what's actually happening, but in-depth analysis of things that will never happen.

One of those pundits, Laura Ingraham, has finally grasped the big brass ring: a show of her very own, the newly launched Watch It! Ingraham, the blonde, sexy side of conservatism, was entertaining as a pundit on the talk-show circuit, particularly during her appearances on Imus in the Morning. But as a host, she grates--clumsy, scattered and shrewish as she continues to ask the question that's vexed Clinton's enemies: Where is the moral outrage?

And so it goes--blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And the fun's not over yet! This week, MSNBC has launched a show starring the granddaddy of punditry, John McLauglin. Wonder what Issue One will be.... TW

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