Tucson Weekly: The Skinny (January 7

Skinny MEANWHILE, BACK AT THE RANCH: The Pima County Board of Supervisors has every reason to reject Fairfield Homes' 6,100-home Canoa Ranch rezoning bid this Tuesday, January 12.
Nearby residents and mines are worried their wells will be drained by the groundwater Fairfield will be sprinkling on the links every day (at the same time, incidentally, that Tucsonans are being urged to drink chemical-laden CAP water). The astronomers at Mount Hopkins are opposed because the development's light pollution would harm the observatory's work. Environmentalists are loathe to lose another 3,000 acres to blade-'n'-grade development, particularly as they are trying to create wilderness corridors across PimaCounty. And the county itself is stressed to the limit trying to manage the growth we're already zoned for.
None of those concerns have been addressed by Fairfield's surprise announcement that they're recruiting Old Tucson hustler Bob Shelton to construct some kind of ersatz western ranch theme park on the property.
In the past, the Canoa rezoning probably would have gone through, despite the opposition, because a majority of the Supervisors has always been owned by the Growth Lobby. But this Board has finally begun to address the rising costs of unrestrained sprawl.
Recognizing the strength of the opposition, Fairfield is now engaging in chickenshit threats. The company recently threatened to sue the federal government for $900 million if the Mount Hopkins astronomers didn't drop their opposition to the project--an astonishing figure that shows what kind of profit Fairfield is expecting to turn on property that cost only $6.4 million when it was purchased in 1995.
So what will happen next Tuesday, when the rezoning goes before the Supes? Expect the usual Astroturf packing of a public hearing with construction workers whining about jobs. One outfit, Borderland Construction, has already told its employees they will sign a pro-Canoa petition when they pick up their paychecks.
If the rezoning is rejected--as it oughta be--we're guessing that Fairfield isn't done with legal threats. Look for the developers to sue Pima County, hoping to engage the usual pack of bush-league roll-overs who work for the civil division. Knowing how easy these clowns are intimidated, Fairfield's legal team will try to convince them they're facing all kinds of potential liability in a full-blown court trial, which will send them rushing to the Board to offer concessions to the homebuilder,
Might work. Our advice to the Supes: Tell the bastards to go to hell and hire some real attorneys to kick their arrogant butts.
SHAVING JAIL COSTS? The Pima County Jail had one recorded suicide over the holidays. What weren't reported were the multiple suicide attempts, some of which came damn close.
There were three in one day--the same day as the successful attempt, which was accomplished by hanging. The implement of choice in the failed attempts? Disposable plastic razor.
Overcrowded conditions and exhausted employees on mandatory overtime guarantee we'll be seeing more such attempts in the future. And plan on more lawsuits from relatives whose loved ones manage to kill themselves while in the county's care.
CADDYSHACK RECALL, PART 37: Candidates who want to oppose Oro Valley Town Councilwoman Cheryl Skalsky in a March recall election have until Friday, January 8, to file for the ballot. Two have shown interest: unsuccessful Board of Supes and Congressional District 5 candidate Wayne Bryant, and former Oro Valley Council candidate Matt Moutafis. Skalsky is expected to run again.
None of the three is exactly a tower of power. Bryant has lost two races badly and ticked off his Democratic allies by not supporting Tom Volgy, the man who beat him in the Congressional District 5 Demo primary. Bryant chose instead to support Libertarian Phil Murphy last November. Moutafis was creamed a few years back in his bid for a Council seat. And Skalsky has an assortment of former friends and allies gunning for her for an assortment of indiscretions, not the least of which has been her recent pro-developer voting pattern.
Unless there's a surprise entry, this is a race any one of the three could easily lose. And good riddance.

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