Wrapping up the midterm election coverage

Now that it’s over, a few final words on the election:

During the presidential election of 1988, there was a skit on “Saturday Night Live” about a debate between the two candidates — Democratic Governor of Massachusetts Michael Dukakis and sitting Vice President George H.W. Bush. As the guy playing Bush was bumbling and mumbling and spouting nonsense, the guy playing Dukakis looked into the camera and said, “How am I losing to this guy?”

I have no doubt that Oath Keepers and Trumplickers and Professional Radio Rednecks are positively shocked to learn that there are more of us than there are of them. They probably go to bed at night thinking, “How in the world could somebody not vote for Mark Finchem? His fascist bona fides are impeccable and if he were secretary of state, people in Arizona wouldn’t even have to waste time voting anymore.”

But incredulity is not an acceptable excuse for insurrection.

Back in the early 1970s, noted tax cheat Spiro T. Agnew was the U.S. vice president. Some intrepid paparazzo took a photo of Agnew digging in his nose. The photo became a popular poster in college dorm rooms — buffoonish booger-picking Agnew with the giant caption “Keep Nixon Alive!”

Along those same lines, I sincerely hope that Donald Trump continues to stomp around in the American political garden, crushing fragile sprouts and Republican dreams as he goes. It truly sucks that our nation had to endure his four years of racist nonsense in the White House. At least now, we can recoup some of our national dignity as he thrashes about in an ever-increasingly desperate attempt to remain relevant.

Let’s hope he continues to squash all opposition in his quest for the Republican presidential nomination and keeps on hand-picking really terrible candidates to run for governor or the senate in a variety of states. Seriously, just about any reasonable Republican could have beaten stroke-damaged John Fetterman for the senate in Pennsylvania, but Trump-anointed Mehmet Oz was an absolute disaster as a candidate. And there was probably only one Republican in the entire state of Arizona who could have lost to Katie Hobbs, and that was the bitter and eminently unlikeable Kari Lake.

Donald Trump — the gift that keeps on giving.

Speaking of Kari Lake, I heard some mindless woman on the Sean Hannity’s show spouting her own brand of befuddlement when she remarked that it was very curious that, in Arizona, treasurer candidate Kimberly Yee got more votes than Kari Lake. “I mean, that’s kinda suspicious, don’t you think?,” the woman asked of no one in particular.

No, it isn’t at all. Yee is a generic Republican candidate, someone who a Republican voter could feel comfortable in voting for. As the campaign went on, Lake became more and more strident, lying and belittling people as she fell deeply in love with the manufactured image of her as Donald Trump in heels.

As I have mentioned, I listen to all the crackpots on the radio — the Trump fetishists, the white supremacists, the election liars and the anti-vaxxers. Hannity is especially bad. He lies all the time, and he knows he’s lying. He’s supposed to be a good Catholic. At the end of his show each day, he probably goes from the studio right into the confessional. He’s probably got a priest on retainer.

It’s really too bad that the Cochise County Board of Supervisors caved and certified the election results. It would have been fun watching Juan Ciscomani lose his narrow margin of victory in the race for the seat in the house of representatives when the votes he got in Cochise County were thrown out. You could just hear him. All those years I had to be the “Good Mexican” and suck up to Doug Ducey only to have the rug pulled out from under me by a couple backwater rednecks!

Cochise County Supervisors Peggy Judd and Tom Crosby probably envisioned themselves as heroes, standing strong against the pernicious encroachment of enlightenment and racial justice (not that either of them would ever use words with that many syllables).

Judd is a real piece of work. She took her grandkids to the Jan. 6 insurrection. “OK, kids, first we’re going to engage in seditious activity as we try to overthrow the American government … and then Meemaw will take you for ice cream.”

The other guy, Crosby, regurgitated every conspiracy theory he had ever heard and made some up of his own, but after the court ordered him to do his damn job, the gutless wonder didn’t even show up to vote. He’ll probably go to his grave proud of the fact that he didn’t do his sworn civic duty. Loser.

It’s just too delicious that Abe Hamadeh, the anchor baby son of a guy who was in this country illegally for decades, lost his bid to become the raging border warrior. Keep filing those frivolous lawsuits, Abe.

Quick question: If Kari Lake had managed to “find” an extra 20,000 votes, would Wendy Rogers and her on-air sycophants still be ranting about counting machines and voter fraud?

Word is that Blake Masters is thinking of running against Kyrsten Sinema in 2024. When it comes time to vote in that race, I’ll have to remember to include that extra “e” when I write in Megan Thee Stallion.

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