Wetlands

This is one of the grossest movies I have ever seen. If bodily functions, fluids, odors and generally stank and sticky things coming out of all orifices make you queasy, don't see the movie and don't read my review. Mind you, this review is coming from a guy who went into uncontrolled gagging spasms while cleaning up after somebody's dog the other day, so I am kind of a pussy. Helen (Carla Juri) is unhealthily obsessed with her hemorrhoids and her vagina. Her life is a series of medical experiments involving dirty toilet seats, a lack of showering to create all states of smells and being in her nether regions, and shaving her anus. One time, while shaving her anus, she creates a bloody anal fissure (Hooray!) and seeks medical attention. While at the hospital, she develops a crush on Robin (Christoph Letkowski), her nurse. She tantalizes him with lots of frank talk about her anus and unclean vagina, and Robin is relatively smitten along with being slightly horrified. After surgery on her injured anus, she requests the removed piece of her butthole and makes him photograph the injury. Then, she shits herself. That’s about it for plot. Somehow, someway (mostly due to the endearing and strange Juri performance) this winds up being mildly entertaining.

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