DA SHIZZNEYYo, Cuz! In the interest of keeping it real, we recently engaged the services of a top-line media consultant who has advised us to reach out to a younger audience with mo' shizzle in da hizzle. Heads up, becuz here comes da fresh new Shizzney. Ya know what I'm sayin'?
DISRESPECT IN DA HOUSEDa Diskrict 8 House o' Representatives race between Congressman Jim "O.G." Kolbe an' state Rep. Randy "Bringing Down Da House" Graf is gettin 10 kinds o' nasty. As a 20-year incumbent, Kolbe is the No. 1 pimp daddy in local Republican circles, so it's hardly surprising to see his dawgs out frontin'. Last week, state Sen. Toni Hellon, Pima County Supervisor Ray Carroll and state Rep. Steve Huffman delivered copious bitchslaps to Randy at the Pima County Republican Club luncheon as the challenger shared his views about protecting the border, criminalizing abortion and rescuing the institution of marriage.
Graf got run into static over an episode when he got buck wild by hanging a picture o' Mack Daddy Mondo George W all upside down an' shit in his crib after the prez announced his immigratialism reform bullshit.
"I had a picture of the president with his arm on my shoulder in my office, and I turned it upside down for a few days," Graf told Da Shizzney. "We were both upside down--just a little signal of distress. My district chairman heard that I had it upside down and asked me put upside right, and I did. It was not meant to be disrespectful to the president, just very concerned, once again, with the lack of urgency (regarding) what is a tremendous problem here in Arizona."
Sugar Ray is talking all kinds of shiznit about Graf, saying that cat is whack.
"I'm not happy with the fact that Randy has decided to take on Jim Kolbe in a wartime election," sez Carroll, who's mighty fly for a white guy. "I don't think it's right for a state representative to exploit the shortcomings of a Republican administration to take on an incumbent who's done a very good job."
Graf still be gettin' up in Kolbe's grill about debates, but da O.G. ain't be playing that nonsense, yo. Look for a couple of t'rowdowns next month, including a televised debate scheduled for Friday, Aug. 20, on KUAT-TV's Arizona Illustrated on Channel 6.
Kolbe's debate dis' has the Graf gangstas spittin' press releases likes "Kolbe Campaign Is Stalled!" and "Another Setback for the Kolbe Campaign!" Despite the sensationalism headline bullshit, the releases just be a holla 'bout Randy making appearances in Cochise County and accusing Kolbe of running scared from the southside. Meanwhile, the Kolbe crew is scurrying to set up a Cochise County event.
When it comes to the cheddar, Graf da one who be stalled. According to last week's FEC reports, Kolbe's fund raising is off da hook. That O.G. done raised $666,700 and still had $569,000 through the end of June. That's a lotta paper!
"This is the most Jim Kolbe has raised or shown on hand at this point in any previous campaign--reflecting broad support for his re-election," sez Toni Hellon, big pimp mama for the Kolbe campaign--and she ain't no chickenhead!
Among those laying out the green was the Club for Growth, a right-wing posse that tried unsuccessfully to knock out moderate Pennsylvania Sen. Arlen Specter earlier this year. Kolbe is flossin' their contribution as mad props from da conservatizzles for a sweet-ass job.
Graf is all but ass-out of bling, having bagged only $53,097 and holding just $24,077 in the bank.
"We know we're going to be outspent two-to-one, three-to-one, five to one," Graf sez. "This is a grassroots effort. We'll be using e-mails, we've got the Web site, we're starting to get signs up and talking to as many people as we can."
BLING SWINGPresumptive Democratic Mack Daddy John Kerry trimmed TV ad buys in Arizona last week, leading to mad speculation over whether Arizona is still a battleground state in the November election.
Republican Party big dawg Bob Fannin said Democrats got to be totally trippin' if they believe Kerry can win Arizona.
"The Kerry-Edwards campaign has finally realized what we have known all along: Their ultra-liberal agenda can't win in Arizona," Fannin sez. "Now they have begun to pull their television ads to prove it. After months of slipping poll numbers, the Kerry campaign seems to have come to the conclusion that Arizona is Bush Country. The Bush campaign in Arizona is better organized, better funded and has a better message for our voters."
The Democrats promise to get this party started right from da 'hoods to da hills.
"As Kerry/Edwards and coordinated campaign staff assume their positions in Arizona, the Kerry/Edwards campaign continues to run full flights of paid media in Arizona," sez Jim Pederson, big dawg of the Arizona Democratic Party. "Republican efforts to wish us away is just that--wishful thinking."
The latest poll from pranksta Earl de Berge shows that overall, Kerry's support be slipping an' shit, from 42 percent in April to 36 percent in July, while Bush had climbed from 46 percent to 48 percent in the same period. Among likely voters--who seem to be the ones who matter--the numbers are a mite bit closer: Bush is at 46 percent, while Kerry is at 36 percent, with 18 percent undecided.
Da Shizzney saw similar results from a Survey USA poll commissioned by local NBC affiliate KVOA-TV, which showed that Bush was up 53 percent to 41 percent.
Both be saying the same thing as last month's poll from Phoenix's KAET-TV, which showed that Bush is large and in charge with a 12-point lead over Kerry.
MAKING DA GRADEThose supa-fine cats at Project Vote Smart, a dope nonpartisan, nonprofit clearinghouse for information about the politizzle, are having trouble surveying those trifling fools about their positions, because candidates be wantin' to keep dat shizzle on the downlow, being afraid of that "oppo research."
Dasright: The pols are now afraid to tell us where they stand on issues an' shit for fear it will cost them votes. Ya'll iz mad stupid.
Project Vote Smart ballers are gonna be calling federal and state candidates to ask them to fill out an-depth political awareness test--and we're gonna give y'all the dope about who be a man about doin' it.
In the meantime, the Vote Smart posse is doing other homework on our congressional delegation. They've just released their mos def report card yet: One-stop shopping for grades from more than 100 interest groups, ranging from the Christian Coalition to Vote Hemp.
Check out the scores of our Arizona senators, John McCain and Jon Kyl, as well as our local congressmen, Jim Kolbe and Raúl Grijalva, at www.vote-smart.org. Or get your freak on with a toll-free ring to (888) VOTE-SMART. You know they be trippin', y'all!
PEEP THIS HERE SHEEIT!Bust a move onto the voter rolls 'fore Monday, Aug. 9, if you wanna vote in the Sept. 7 primary. Jet down to local libraries and post offices for registration forms. Or lay your hands on one right from the web at www.recorder.co. pima.az.us/regvote.html.
Early voting starts Thursday, Aug. 5. Cop your early ballot by dialing 740-4330. Don't make me come over there, beeatch!
By Shnintz Dawg
With mad props to Sistahs Stern and Kurtis McFury for coming correct with a no-look assist.