The Range


Congressman J.D. Hayworth once again functioned as the Republican Party's Id, getting all loose-lipped on Imus in the Morning on the day after last Tuesday's election and blurting out that he'd rather not have President George W. Bush campaign for him in Arizona. We can't say we're surprised, given how much help Bush was for the Republicans he helped out in last Tuesday's election. (In case you didn't notice, here's how much help W. was: none at all.)

Our guess? J.D. is off Karl's Christmas card list.

Later that day, coincidentally enough, the Arizona Republican Party announced in a release that it was "proud to welcome President George W. Bush back to the great state of Arizona" later this month so he can help "raise significant dollars" for U.S. Sen. Jon Kyl's re-election campaign against Democrat Jim Pederson. Suck on that, J.D.!

Meanwhile, our senior senator, John McCain, continues to needle Bush on the whole war thing. Last time, it was the nutty suggestion that the U.S. not torture prisoners (like McCain knows anything about that!); now it's McCain's plan to win the war in Iraq. Cindy Sheehan isn't going to like it: McCain says the United States needs to send in more troops to increase security and stability in Iraq.

"Securing ever increasing parts of Iraq and preventing the emergence of new terrorist safe havens will require more troops and money," McCain said in a speech. "It will take time, probably years, and mean more American casualties. Those are terrible prices to pay. But with the stakes so high, I believe we must choose the strategy with the best chance of success."

Bush tried to blunt criticism that he went to war on bogus intelligence by reminding people in a Veteran's Day speech that he had bipartisan support to launch the military action, and it was "deeply irresponsible" for congressional critics "to rewrite the history of how that war began."

Enemies of America Urge Jihad!

The Range really, really tries to focus on our home state, but we can't resist mentioning that the Rev. Pat Robertson warned residents of Dover, Pa., that they could face anything from a rain of fire to a plague of frogs for voting against idiot school board members who wanted to teach creationism in high school science courses.

Our colleagues at The Associated Press noted that Robertson told viewers of The 700 Club that: "I'd like to say to the good citizens of Dover: If there is a disaster in your area, don't turn to God. You just rejected Him from your city."

As the AP reminded us, Pat floated the idea of assassinating Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez last summer and, in earlier moments of public dementia, he's "suggested that the State Department be blown up with a nuclear device. He has also said that feminism encourages women to 'kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians.'" Not that there's anything wrong with that.

That bloop-bloop noise you hear is us setting our TiVo to record the The 700 Club each and every day, because it sounds even funnier than The Daily Show.

In other crazy-encouragements-of-terrorism news: Fox News sexpert Bill "Hot Talk" O'Reilly suggested that terrorists be allowed to target the Coit Building in San Francisco after 60 percent of voters in the city passed a referendum urging area schools and colleges to ban on-campus military recruitment.

O'Reilly said the U.S. should tell al-Qaida: "Look, every other place in America is off limits to you except San Francisco. You want to blow up the Coit Tower? Go ahead."

San Francisco's firefighters, to whom the Coit Tower is dedicated, released a statement saying O'Reilly was a "miserable splotch of santorum who doesn't know his loofah from a falafel." No, not really, but San Francisco firefighters union president John Hanley told the San Francisco Chronicle: "I've got guys fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan. I'm a veteran myself. What's (O'Reilly) talking about?"

Toon In

Range pal Max Cannon of "Red Meat" fame has launched a new series of weekly animated cartoons, Shadow Rock, now showing on Comedy Central's Web site. The first couple of shorts have revolved around a dead clown. As if live ones weren't creepy enough.

"If I do say so myself, it is amazing and funny to watch," Cannon says.

Check it out with a PC browser (sorry, Mac fans!) under the "MotherLoad" feature at

If you don't have a PC, don't despair--Cannon tells The Range that a showing of the series will be coming up next month at The Loft.

Boob Tube

Sexual content is up on our TV screens, according to a survey by UA research team led by Dale Kunkel and Keren Eyal, who analyzed 1,154 shows to measure how often characters were doing it, or talking about doing it. The answer: During prime time, 77 percent of the shows on major networks had some sort of sexual content, up from 67 percent in 1997. And--get this--these fantasy escapist programs often fail to include talk of risk and responsibilities.

In our own research, we've noticed a lot more girls are kissing girls. Must have something to do with feminism.

Far more distressing TV news: Fox cancelled the brilliant Arrested Development. Our showbiz sources say the story of the Bluth clan is being shopped around to other networks, but we're skeptical we'll see anything beyond the 13 episodes that have been ordered for this season.

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