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Sweaty Thoughts

Feeling not-so-fresh? To commemorate the first day of summer, our friends at Old Spice inform us that we are third-sweatiest city in the country! We trail Las Vegas, which came in at No. 2, and Phoenix, which was named the No. 1 sweatiest city in America. Old Spice senior sweatologists estimate that average Phoenix resident produced .76 liters of sweat per hour during a typical summer day in 2004.

According to Old Spice officials: "In a two-hour period, residents of Phoenix collectively produced more than enough sweat to equal a 12-ounce glass of lemonade for everyone in the state of Arizona!"

To that comparison, we can only say: Yuck!

Elsewhere on the corporate-sponsored hygiene beat, Close-Up toothpaste--the first to combine toothpaste and mouthwash in one convenient gel package--brings us the news that one-third of all Americans will have a "steamy make-out session" on the Fourth of July.

Some fun facts from senior hookupologists: Nearly 70 percent of those surveyed "get frisky during the fireworks." One third said they'd go off to make their own show, while another third said they were not at all turned on by fireworks. The survey also revealed that 60 percent of respondents remembered having at least one summer fling.

No word on what sort of sweaty hook-ups four out of five dentists recommend for their patients who chew gum.


War Stories

Attention, citizens: The insurgency in Iraq in its final throes, according to Vice President Dick Cheney. Or near the final throes, according to Joint Chiefs chairman Richard Myers.

Or we're years from breaking the insurgency, if you listen to Arizona Sen. John McCain, who told NBC's Meet the Press that the American people should be told that "it's long; it's hard; it's tough. ... It's going to be at least a couple more years."

Also off the reservation: Republican Sen. Chuck Hagel of Nebraska, who told U.S. News and World Report that "Things aren't getting better; they're getting worse. The White House is completely disconnected from reality. It's like they're just making it up as they go along."

That may not be anything new, if we can believe the Downing Street memo that suggested the White House was cooking intelligence before the war started.

That reminds us: The latest USA Today/CNN/Gallup poll shows that support for the war has tumbled to just 39 percent of Americans. Bush's job approval remained mired at 47 percent.

Our other favorite recent Bush administration news bite: Former oil company lobbyist Phillip Cooney resigned from his job chairing the White House Council on Environmental Quality a couple of days after The New York Times revealed he had edited reports on climate change to blur connections between oil consumption and greenhouse gases.

His new employer? Exxon Mobil Corp.

The Bush administration was too much for Corwyn William Zimbleman, whose obituary ran in the funeral notices in Sunday's Arizona Daily Star.

The Range observed that the notice said: "Alas, the stolen election of 2000 and living with right-winged Americans finally brought him to his early demise. Stress from living in this unjust country brought about several heart attacks, rendering him disabled."

Our condolences to Cory's friends and family.


McCain = Traitor

Sen. John McCain might be a media darling, but the right-wing members of Arizona's Republican Party know he's secretly a traitor to the GOP. Legislative District 11, which stretches across Phoenix and Paradise Valley, voted last week to censure McCain because he has "repeatedly sought to weaken Republican strength by siding with liberals to lead the attack on Republican initiatives," according to the Arizona Conservative.

The District 11 vote follows a similar censure of McCain earlier this month by the Arizona Republican Assembly, another right-wing crew with a long list of grievances against McCain.


It Can't Happen Here--Right?

A handful of Yuma residents were evacuated from their homes after a Marine Harrier jet dropped from the skies into their neighborhood last Wednesday, June 15. No one was killed, but two people on the ground were injured, according to The Associated Press.

The pilot ejected from plane, which was carrying four 500-pound bombs.


Hack Work

Who let the data out? It appears CardSystems Solutions Inc. of Tucson let the data out, in the case of credit-card fraud that could affect, oh, 40 million or so accounts. Whoops!

No word yet whether it was an inside job or outside hackers who tapped into the system and lifted data about MasterCard, Visa, Discover and American Express cardholders from the company, which does customer service, billing assistance and related tasks for credit-card companies.

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