The Host

From the toxic pen of Stephenie Meyer comes this atrocity about an alien race of psychedelic sperm “bonding” with humans and taking over their bodies and minds. In the future, the planet has been overrun except for pockets of resisters, one of them being Melanie (Saoirse Ronan). But Melanie’s luck runs out, she’s bonded with an alien and becomes Wanda. Wanda starts hearing Melanie’s voice in her head, begins arguing with herself, and the film becomes just about the dumbest thing you will ever see. Wanda makes it to a desert commune where her uncle (William Hurt) is harvesting wheat in a rock. She has two boys after her, one of them being Melanie’s ex and the other being somebody who just doesn’t mind getting it on with an alien as long as said alien is inhabiting a hot American girl’s body. Seriously, I can’t believe this thing even happened. Stay away, for the good of your health and all of mankind.