Director Guy Ritchie has made just what we were expecting after his ingenious cockney crime comedies Snatch and Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels: a new version of Lina Wertmullers controversial classic about a sexism, dominance and love. Not! Where the 1974 Italian filmfull title: Swept Away ... By an Unusual Destiny in the Blue Sea of Augustwas an ironic, erotic and politically-incorrect masterpiece, its difficult to see the satire in Ritchies earnest but bland production. Maybe that has something to do with the fact that it stars his wife, pop star and sexual provocateur Madonna, as the spoiled socialite who learns to behave when she is shipwrecked on an idyllic Mediterranean isle with hunky first mate Adriano Giannini (son of original star Giancarlo). Give us the overblown Evita any day over this artificial art-house fare.