PORK CHOPS: Hey kids, ever go see your favorite band, The Pork Torta, and wish you could bring that funky-ass dance party home with you? Well, now, all those favorite Torta tunes you've been getting your groove on to for the last three or four years, ever since the band's last CD, The Power of Three (Bloat), can be yours for a very affordable price. It's all part of what we like to call "The new Pork Torta" CD product.

Oh, it's got a name, but we just can't remember it right now. Songs? Yep, it's got those, too. By using a modern compact disc player, you can access these songs, and throw your own bootyquaking dance party, in the luxury of your own home. "But how do I get one of these new Pork Torta compact disc items?" you ask. We suggest you head out to Club Congress, a local nightclub, to experience the Pork Torta CD release party, set to take place on Friday. While you're there, stop by the merchandise booth and say hi to the boys. Smile as you hand them your money, and they give you the sanitarily shrink-wrapped CD product, knowing your miserable life won't be quite so miserable anymore. It's just that easy. Enjoy!

The Pork Torta's CD release party begins at 9 p.m. on Friday, December 27, at Club Congress, 311 E. Congress St. The Okmoniks and West Cool 7 open. Admission is cheap. Call 622-8848 for more details.

WORSHIP AT THE TEMPLE: Just back from yet another European jaunt, Calexico, along with their pals in Mariachi Luz de Luna, and opener Salvador Duran, will take to the rather tony confines of The Temple of Music and Art this week for a show that will benefit KXCI-FM, Solar Culture and Tucson-Almaty sister cities committee. The show will begin promptly at 8 p.m. on Friday, December 27, at the Temple, located at 330 S. Scott Ave., and advance tickets are available for $15 at the KXCI studios, Hear's Music and Antigone books. The show is open to all ages. For more information call KXCI at 623-1000, or Solar Culture at 884-0874.

CAPTAIN AMERICANA: The Calexico show isn't the only one in which KXCI has a hand in promoting this week. For their annual year-end member appreciation concert, the station is bringing California roots-rock veteran Dave Alvin and his band The Guilty Men to town this weekend. While he's still best known for his stints in The Blasters (pioneers of the '80s roots-rock renaissance), X, and The Knitters, a side project that included members of X, Alvin has forged a solo career that started in the mid-'80s. This year saw the release of Out in California (Hightone), a live album of which Alvin has said, "Occasionally, I make records, but what I do is play live."

Go see Dave Alvin do what he does best at 8 p.m. on Saturday, December 28, at the Rialto Theatre, 318 E. Congress St. Advance tickets are available for $16, $12 for KXCI members, at CD City, Reader's Oasis, Antigone Books and the KXCI studios, by phone at 623-1000 ext. 13, or online at Tickets will be $3 more at the door. For more information call 623-1000.

LOG ON: For the last story of the year, I usually like to recount a story I've come across recently that hasn't found a way into these pages. This time around it comes in form of a quote about local speed-bluesman Bob Log III, from none other than the legendary Tom Waits. Log will release his latest album, Log Bomb, on Fat Possum, on January 21. Containing 13 new songs, it also continues Log's breast obsession (see "Clap Your Tits"), with a song called "Boob Scotch," which implores women to "boob" his glass of scotch. The following is an excerpt from an interview with Tom Waits, originally published in Time Out London.

Time Out: What are you listening to now?

Tom Waits: Well, I really like Wu Tang Clan, those guys kill me. And then there's this guy named Bob Log, you ever heard of him? He's this little kid--nobody ever knows how old he is--wears a motorcycle helmet and he has a microphone inside of it and he puts the glass over the front so you can't see his face, and plays slide guitar. It's just the loudest, strangest stuff you've ever heard. You don't understand one word he's saying. (laughs) I like people who glue macaroni on to a piece of cardboard and paint it gold. That's what I aspire to basically.

Happy holidays to all.

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