Silent Hill: Revelation 3D

Another wasteful scary-movie attempt, and a sequel to a movie that certainly didn’t need one. The first Silent Hill was a banal, loud mess and this one follows suit. Sean Bean returns as the confused dad trying to save his daughter Heather (Adelaide Clemens) from the horrors of Silent Hill, where her mother (Radha Mitchell) still resides (Mitchell shows up in a mirror for one stupid scene). Silent Hill would be a cursed city that looks a lot like a cheap video game, strewn with strange stitched-up monsters and totally lousy amusement parts (Stay of the merry-go-round!). The movie is an incomprehensible mess that is a task to watch. It’s also hard to see the likes of Malcolm McDowell and Carrie-Anne Moss wasting away in junk like this. Their parts are small, but they are parts all the same. The first movie came out six years ago, so I thought we were safe from getting a sequel. Such was not the case. I will say there is a spider monster thing in the movie that is almost scary, and the little girl with the white face and black eyes sort of freaked me out. That amounts for about two minutes of this otherwise dreadful film.