Shallow Hal

Welcome, class, to Inner Beauty 101. Today's guest lecturers are the notorious writing/directing duo, the Farrelly Brothers. Good morning, children. You see, regardless of what guys look and act like, they only date calorie-counting, brainless beauties with silicone-enhanced breasts, which means that all of you smart and funny fatsos should lose your relationship fantasies and go volunteer for the Peace Corps where you belong. Now, take our friend, Hal, for example. He is a superficial potato with limbs and Elvis sideburns who always chooses the gorgeous over the grotesque; that is, until a brawny self-help guru hypnotizes him to see the personality before the appearance. Therefore, all of you love-obsessed losers should find someone under a deep hypnotic spell, since the Peace Corps won't even accept your buck-tooth pimple face because inner beauty is a bunch of garbage. And that concludes Inner Beauty 101.