Police Dispatch

Tush Ambush

North Vine Avenue

April 28, 8:21 p.m.

A bus driver was just trying to help some sorority girls have some good, clean fun when a young man invaded her vehicle and gave her a dirty show she can never un-see, according to a University of Arizona Police Department report.

The driver told a UA officer she was helping safely transport people for a UA activity called "Date Dash," in which sorority sisters apparently ask out other students for a group date (bus transportation being key due to the involvement of alcohol).

The reportee said while her bus was parked, she left the vehicle alone for only a few minutes to make a phone call—returning to find two obviously intoxicated male students inside, one actually sitting in the driver's seat and gleefully revving the engine.

When she confronted them, she said, the dude in the driver's seat asked if she "wanted to see his ass" and "proceeded to pull down his pants, bend over and expose his anus to her." Though this may have scarred a lesser person for life, she reportedly took the situation in stride, simply "kicking them off" the bus.

The reporting officer located the two drunk males—both dressed in button-down shirts and khaki pants, one dark-haired and one with curly blond tresses—near where the bus was parked at First Street and Vine Avenue, but they evaded him by ducking into the Kappa Sigma Fraternity house, 1423 E. First St.

A large group of frat brothers hanging out on the house's balcony might've helped the officer, but instead they all fled inside upon seeing him. He finally located the Kappa Sigma board members, who searched the house and retrieved the subjects.

The bus driver immediately identified the curly-haired blond as the anus-exposer (admitting that the brown-haired male had pretty much just been "standing by").

Both men admitted to entering the bus and couldn't hide being extremely drunk. Although the blond adamantly denied mooning the poor driver, he was arrested for indecent exposure.

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