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Up With the Chickens, Into the Pen

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Up With the Chickens, Into the Pen

San Xavier Beat

Feb. 8, 8:09 a.m.

Rather early one morning, a threesome of troublemakers ran into law enforcement at a grocery store after an unsuccessful attempt to steal a whole lot of chicken wings (which would've made an odd breakfast, in any case), according to a Pima County Sheriff's Department report.

At around 8 a.m. on Wednesday, sheriff's deputies were called to a southwest-side Safeway, where they were informed two men and one woman—all wearing dark clothing, with one man in a wheelchair—had been "pestering" staff for quite some time.

Upon arrival, near the store's entrance, one deputy located one of the suspects, who told the officer he was sitting in his wheelchair waiting for a couple friends still in the store "buying stuff." Soon he amended his statement to say there was only one friend in his party—just as that very friend approached him and the deputy and begin insisting that really, there was nobody else with them, and they were ready to leave now.

Not so fast, said the deputy, whose background checks had just informed him that the wheelchair-bound man had one warrant out for his arrest (for assault), and the other had several warrants (all regarding liquor-related violations).

Meanwhile, this deputy's two partners had learned from store management that there was in fact another "friend" with these subjects: a woman who'd just tried to book it out of the store with three pounds of chicken wings—and it was she who'd been the main source of staff "pestering," apparently being argumentative with employees after she'd been caught with all the chicken.

Deputies brought the woman to jail, along with the man with the liquor-violation warrants. Since the subject in the wheelchair would apparently have difficulty getting out of it (in the words of the report, having him stand would "probably not going to be the easiest thing to do"), this man was simply given a warning and told to "take care of (his) warrant" himself.

More by Anna Mirocha

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