Police Dispatch

(Storage) Space Invaders

January 5, 11:11 a.m.

Foothills Area

A couple of women made themselves quite at home in a stranger's storage unit—even fashioning a (very crude) "restroom" for themselves there, according to a Pima County Sheriff's Department report.

Sheriff's deputies responded to a north-side storage-unit complex, where the reportee rented a space in which to keep extra furniture and miscellanea—and which had, she saw, been broken into and very obviously lived in.

Entering the unit, deputies saw a couch (the reportee's) that had apparently been slept on (as evidenced by its rumpled surface and the pillow—also the reportee's—now propped up at one end). The floor was littered with loose change, numerous empty bottles and soda cans, miscellaneous receipts, a bus pass, a Zia Records card, cigarette butts and cigar wrappers—plus some damning evidence of drug use: syringes and needles, a spoon and lighters. A tag reading "RGB" was scrawled across one wall in teal-colored ink.

On the south side of the room was a bucket full of urine.

Finally, in the north wall—connected to another, smaller storage unit—someone had created a jagged-edged hole large enough for a person to fit through. Since the door to the adjoining unit had been tampered with, deputies surmised that the perps had first entered that space, then used the hole to access this bigger, much-more-nicely-furnished space.

(Apparently, it hadn't occurred to them that the smaller room might be a better place for squatters—no pun intended—to put their pee bucket.)

Nothing was actually missing from either of the storage rooms except, oddly, two ice chests.

In a wallet left beneath the couch, deputies found two Arizona ID cards for women the reportee didn't know. She said she hadn't entered her storage space for a month, and a found Walmart receipt showed that a pack of cigarettes—whose remains now likely appeared as the butts on the ground—had been bought Dec. 10; thus the women had probably been living there at least three weeks.

DNA swabs were taken from some empty, but at the time of the report, deputies had not yet begun searching for the intruders.

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