Police Dispatch 

He Didn't Even Have to Buy Her Dinner (Just Dessert)

San Xavier Beat

Sept. 23, 11:08 p.m.

A man came home one night to find a strange, random female lying in his bed (apparently after helping herself to sweets from his pantry), a Pima County Sheriff's Department report stated.

The reportee told sheriff's deputies he'd just arrived home and went inside to find that his bedroom door—normally left ajar—was suspiciously closed and locked. Once he opened it using a screwdriver, he was confronted with the sight of "a female ... in just her underwear, completely shirtless, lying on his bed." When she saw him, he said, she quickly jumped up, yelling, "Sorry, mister!"

AS she grabbed her clothes, the reportee reportedly backed out of the room and went outside to call the cops, who arrived to find she'd already escaped through a window whose screen was cut (likely her entrance point as well).

Nothing had been stolen except several water bottles from the victim's refrigerator, as well as multiple cookies and a bunch of jelly beans, which she'd presumably eaten before reposing in the master bedroom.

The strange woman left no fingerprints and was never identified.

More by Anna Mirocha


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