Police Dispatch 

No Shirt, No Shoes, No Pants, No Problem

Foothills Area

August 17, 12:34 a.m.

A Quick Mart clerk did try to provide service to a man who entered her convenience store, even though he wore nothing but swim trunks and seemed very out of sorts—but he pulled a (not very fruitful) shoplifting stunt anyway, a PCSD report stated.

Sheriff's deputies met with the clerk, who said she'd watched the man—who was barefoot, shirtless and wearing blue swim shorts—stumble into the store, head straight for the liquor section and slam open the cooler door, then pull out a can of Budweiser and stumble toward her.

But just when it looked like he was going to the sales counter, he allegedly started walking past it still holding the beer, prompting the clerk to say politely, "Are you going to pay for that?"

In response he reportedly said, "I'm sorry" over and over as he walked out the door and into the parking lot, where deputies found him—with the beer can beside him on the ground, smashed and spilling its contents into the road.

The man was banned from the Quik Mart and handcuffed, but deputies had him checked out by paramedics because he was making worrisomely dark statements and still stumbling badly. Ultimately they sent him to the hospital for help instead of jail, so perhaps his beer theft was worth his trouble after all.

More by Anna Mirocha


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