Police Dispatch 

A Hearty Breakfast for the Family (Car)

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Foothills Area

July 3, 7:32 a.m.

A man and his live-in female partner woke up early one morning to find their vehicle covered in savory breakfast foods, according to a Pima County Sheriff's Department report.

The man and woman met with sheriff's deputies to show them the car, which was parked on the street in front of their house. The entire driver's side of the car (which was facing the street) was covered in raw eggs, and since the front window was slightly rolled down, one egg had actually gotten inside the car and broken all over the steering column, covering it in nutrition-rich white and yellow goo.

Also coating the car were the contents of a bowl someone had chucked at it, which had contained other wholesome food items (cooked in this case)—including brown beans and potatoes.

The female thought perhaps her allegedly bitter ex boyfriend had perpetrated the incident, but there was no concrete evidence allowing law enforcement to pinpoint him (or anyone else) as the food vandal.

More by Anna Mirocha


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