Police Dispatch 

Driveway Art

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San Xavier Beat

March 27, 8:22 a.m.

A healthy-eating hoodlum made some kind of artistic statement (whether wittingly or not) in the act of vandalizing a random family's sedan, according to a Pima County Sheriff's Department report.

Sheriff's deputies responded to a southeast-side neighborhood, where a married woman and man showed them that the rear windshield of their Infinity sedan, parked in their driveway, had been shattered—likely when a rock or other large, heavy object had been thrown at it—while they'd been gone the previous day and night.

In addition, the wife said, the vandal had stuffed the car's tailpipe with foam (presumably Styrofoam), and then picked some flowers from the reportees' yard and stuck their stems in the cracks between pieces of foam—so the flowers protruded ostentatiously from the tailpipe.

Deputies weren't able to see this spectacle because the wife had already plucked out the flowers and cleared removed the foam, which was crammed so far up the tailpipe she'd had to get it out by inserting a long wire and wiggling it around in there.

The reportees had little insight as to whom in particular could've done this, and their neighbors hadn't seen or heard anything regarding the incident. The only trace of the vandal/artist was a half-eaten apple that had been left behind, tossed on the ground in front of the couple's front door.

The apple was dusted for fingerprints but yielded no further clues.

More by Anna Mirocha


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