Police Dispatch

Dude Viewed in the Nude

Rincon Beat

March 21, 3:03 p.m.

A man was busted for unloading his groceries in the nude—and then complained that his manner of accomplishing this task was his constitutional right, according to a Pima County Sheriff's Department report.

Sheriff's deputies responded to the house of one of the man's neighbors, who said she and her little boy had been minding their own business at home a short while ago when they looked over at their neighbor's nearby open carport and saw him emerge from his house completely naked as he started unloading groceries from his vehicle. She said the boy had only seen the man's naked bottom, not his genitals—but that was enough. She'd taken a photo of the man for proof, and provided it to one of the reporting deputies.

While walking to the subject's front door, this deputy could see inside his window—and the man was still nude. When the deputy knocked, the man yelled from inside that he just needed to put on some pants; then he opened his door casually, as if nothing were out of the ordinary. The deputy noticed a urine stain on his pants leg near the crotch.

Upon learning that he'd been reported for indecent exposure, he immediately admitted to the being naked in his carport but asserted that "it was his (constitutional) right to be able to be nude on his property." When the deputy responded that no, "it was not okay to do so," the man got extremely angry, sarcastically asking if he were in "Nazi Germany."

The deputy confirmed that no, the man lived in the 21st-century United States, but even here "it was actually criminal to be in the nude (in public) with others present."

But the subject remained adamant that he hadn't done anything illegal, going further to say that the deputies were "harassing him" and even threatening to file a complaint against them for protecting the reportee's identity. The man was reported to the PCSD Sex Crimes Unit, and the neighbor and her family were identified as his victim.

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